“Hey, Rudolph, pass the blow, eh? Ho, ho, ho!”
That is, apparently, what Fun Wear, a third-party seller of “adult” seasonal sweaters on Walmart.ca wanted folks to think Santa might be saying this holiday season. Walmart’s Canadian website was selling a Christmas sweater depicting Santa Claus sitting at a table, holding a straw, with three lines of what appeared to be white powder in front of him. The caption? “Let it snow.” And, just in case you weren’t absolutely certain the substance in question was cocaine, the sweater’s description read: “We all know how snow works. It’s white, powdery and the best snow comes straight from South America. That’s bad news for jolly old St. Nick, who lives far away in the North Pole. That’s why Santa really likes to savor the moment when he gets his hands on some quality, grade A, Colombian snow.” Another one of the adult Christmas sweaters showed Santa being spanked by Mrs. Claus. And there were more on offer, but you get the idea. Fun wear, indeed.
Walmart apologized and pulled all the sweaters from the site after shoppers expressed their shock on social media, Global News Canada reported. A company spokesperson told GNC that the items “do not represent Walmart’s values and have no place on our website,” adding, “We have removed these products from our marketplace. We apologize for any unintended offense this may have caused.”
Also joining in the Christmas spirit was Sycamore Brewing of North Carolina. The brewery wanted to change the look on this year’s Christmas Cookie Winter Ale cans from their traditional holiday designs of years past. Naturally, a Kama Sutra-inspired motif was chosen. The cans came out around Thanksgiving and sported deep blue labels with tiny snowflakes. And little red and white cartoon reindeer engaged in many different sexual acts. The brewery took the cans off retailer’s shelves after it received complaints, and replaced them with “G-rated” containers.
What’s next? Perhaps an updated version of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” in which Mrs. Claus sleeps with one—or more—of the elves…who are making more meth than toys? And in which we’ll learn that the real reason Rudolph’s nose is red is because he’s been snorting coke with Saint Nick and boozing it up, as well?
Not to be a Grinch here, but cocaine and kink on supposedly Christmas-themed items? Not everything “hip” is cool. “Progressive” doesn’t mean better. There may be times to “push the envelope,” culturally speaking, but Christmas is not one of them.