North Korea Warns Trump: Do Not Say "Rocket Man"

                North Korea took umbrage at President Trump referring to President Kim Jong un as “Rocket Man” again recently. Choe Son Hui, the Hermit Kingdom’s first vice-minister of Foreign Affairs, at least until Kim tires of him and has him executed via anti-aircraft fire, issued the following statement…carried by state run news agency KCNA: “If this is meant to make expressions, reminiscent of those days just two years ago when a war of words was fought across the ocean surface, again on purpose, it will be a very dangerous challenge.” Choe also said the Trump’s remark had “prompted the waves of hatred of our people against the U.S. and the Americans and they are getting higher and higher.” She added: “It would be fortunate” if Trump’s remarks were simply “an instantaneous verbal lapse, but the matter becomes different if they were a planned provocation that deliberately targeted us.”

                Trump had also recently noted that the United States reserved the right to use military force against North Korea. Choe said Trump’s comments undermined the dignity of North Korea and its leader. She vowed that her country would be watching closely to see if Trump dared repeat the remarks, and issued an undignified swipe at the American president: “If any language and expressions stoking the atmosphere of confrontation are used once again on purpose at a crucial moment as now, that must really be diagnosed as the relapse of the dotage of a dotard.” Language precisely like that, you mean? Hopefully, Choe’s words were simply an instantaneous verbal lapse and not a planned provocation deliberately targeting the United States. (The North Korean leadership, not yet very adept at the use of the English language, discovered the word “dotard” a couple of years ago, and it is obvious they are extremely fond of it).

                Kim has been launching short-range ballistic missiles this year as if they were bottle rockets on the Fourth of July, though he probably wouldn’t like that analogy. Yet, he cryptically warned the U.S. that it has only until the end of this year to change its stance on his country or he would consider taking an unspecified “new path.”

                Trump has been cautioned against calling Kim “Rocket Man” again, but what if he called him “Sprocket Man” or “Socket Man?” Would this still irk the Dear Leader? How about “Pocket Man?” Would that make Kim go down a new path? “Docket Man?” would make Kim sound like a legal guru. How insulting could that be? Maybe Trump could refer to Kim as “Rock It Man!” That could even be a tribute. “I have to tell you, you ‘Rock It, Man!’” 

“Missile Man?” That has nice alliteration and would make Kim sound like a superhero, no?

“Projectile Person?” This term would have the advantage of being politically correct, though that isn’t a “thing” in North Korea.

It used to be said that, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Those days are long gone. Here and abroad.