Monday, October 12, 2015

Columbus Day, Indigenous People's Day

Yesterday was Columbus Day in the United States. Well, actually, many states and towns celebrated “Indigenous People’s Day.” The drive to replace Christopher Columbus with Native Americans and rename the day in honor of the latter is picking up momentum.
                This continent, you see, was a pristine paradise free of alcohol, European diseases, capitalism and, well, white men, before the old seafarer arrived. It was teeming with game and unfettered by fences and Christian ideas of morality. No factories polluted the land, water and sky. And then, HE came along and ruined everything. Suddenly sweat shops, meth labs and Wal-Marts were popping up everywhere, like dandelions in an unkempt yard.
                Funny thing though, every time I hear the libs fantastical fabrications of post-Columbus devastation, I am reminded of how welcoming they now think American citizens should be of all immigrants, legal or illegal, no matter their reasons for wanting to be here. (Get them across the border, onto food stamps and into a voting booth, post haste!).
                Columbus haters, I thought diversity was good, no? Does everybody have to stay within a few hundred yards of where they were born? I thought the “Indians” themselves came across a land bridge from Asia? They weren’t Native Americans, then, were they?! By that “logic” civilization should just have contained itself to Mesopotamia and Egypt, forever and ever, amen. (Some radical professors at colleges around the country would probably have been in favor of that. “The rest of the world reserved for the indigenous animals, yay!” Of course, that would mean that they wouldn’t exist, but, hey, they’re typically pro Planned Parenthood, too, so they are not necessarily logicians).
                Can’t you progressives stop bullying Columbus, stop hating on him? Shouldn’t you be more welcoming and less judgmental? Should the Indians have simply excluded all Europeans?

                Perhaps they should have built a fence.

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