Playboy Magazine Declares, "No Nudes Is Good News"

                 Is nothing sacred anymore? Playboy magazine has just announced that it will no longer contain pictures of beautiful naked women. Apparently, the ease of pulling up similar images on the internet, for free, was one of the factors leading to the publisher’s decision. From now on, people subscribing to the iconic publication really will be doing so for the articles.

                Good luck with that.

                Since the 1950’s innumerable adolescent males have learned about female anatomy and had their libidos lathered while paging through each issue, eventually opening up the ‘Playmate of the Month’ centerfold and gazing at it in awe, as if it were a map pointing the way to buried treasure. The ‘cool’ and ‘hip’ boys somehow managed to get their hands on a Playboy magazine, while the lesser lights made do with National Geographic.

                There was no comparison. Unless one liked sags and wrinkles.

                What’s next? Burger King announcing it will no longer sell burgers? Kentucky Fried Chicken averring that it will now offer only tofu products? Toys ‘R’ Us dropping toys and selling only firearms and  chainsaws? The New York Review of Books eschewing words and going with sketches of beloved Hanna-Barbara cartoon characters from here to eternity?

                And, with no more newly-minted Playmates or bunnies, what happens to the Playboy mansion? Eventually, it will be much, much larger than needed. The ‘Love Shack’ will be superfluous at some point. My guess is it will one day be purchased and turned into a ‘mega-Mosque.’

                Oh well, I suppose it’s just as easy to hide an I-Pad under the mattress.