Monday, October 19, 2015

Alcoholic State Lottery Official Claims Discrimination

                 Johnene Canfield, a former Minnesota State Lottery official who was recently fired for various performance issues now claims she was discriminated against due to her alcoholism. That ridiculous claim is actually rooted in long-standing disability law, according to Teresa Nelson, the legal director for the American Civil Liberties Union of Minnesota. Last week, the former official sued the state, including the State Lottery Executive Director, for firing her despite knowing she was disabled as the result of her alcoholism. Canfield is also alleging gender discrimination in the suit.
                On Monday, December 15th, 2014, at 3 p.m., Ms. Canfield’s car crossed the center line of the highway she was driving on and struck an oncoming car head-on. A 73 year-old man was seriously injured in the crash. Her blood alcohol level was nearly three times the legal limit. This was her second DUI. Canfield, the Minnesota State Lottery Assistant Director, told officers that she was on her way to pick up her children from school! She has been accused of even more outrageous behavior during her time as a government lottery bigwig.
                Yet the ACLU’s Nelson said that even though alcohol dependency is not spelled out in the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act or Minnesota’s equivalent law, regulatory agencies and courts have interpreted chemical dependency as qualifying for disability status.
                Essentially everything is a disability now, as nothing could ever be anyone’s fault, or within anyone’s control. This dovetails nicely with the banishment of the Ten Commandments, the abasing of the individual and the supremacy of the Nanny State.
                I myself have a “disability” that I surely shouldn’t be fired or blamed for. It’s horrifying to me and causes me inexpressible anguish. You see, I am a victim. I, through no fault of my own, just don’t like to work. I’m sure it’s a genetic thing, even though all my predecessors have been particularly hard-working individuals.
                I’m retaining a lawyer. I will bring a lawsuit on behalf of lazy people everywhere. The ACLU will be with me every indolent, lethargic, step of the way.

                Rest assured, my friends. Rest assured. Lazy people’s lives matter.

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