Tuesday, November 20, 2018

A Capital Offense


                Leeds Trinity University in (formerly jolly old) England has taken political correctness to a new level, hard as that is to believe. The school’s journalism department issued a memo, obtained by The Express, instructing professors and lecturers to avoid various egregious offenses that could be intimidating or unsettling to students. What are those offenses you ask? Perhaps brandishing a firearm or using racist language? Au contraire. From the memo: “Despite our best attempts to explain assessment tasks, any lack of clarity can generate anxiety and even discourage students from attempting the assessment at all.” While lack of clarity can certainly be frustrating, it shouldn’t be intimidating-- or an excuse for not even trying. The direction actually states that professors must be “explicit about any inexplicitness” in their assignment guidance. Yes, let’s be clear about any unclarity, shall we? Thank you.
                Lecturers are also cautioned to avoid overusing the words “do” and “don’t.” (Particularly if they are wont to say, “Men do have penises and women don’t, I’m guessing).
                But that’s not all. Educators are also encouraged to “write in a helpful, warm tone” and to avoid “negative instructions.” (Even if it aids clarity)?
                And, lastly, my favorite professorial proscription: teachers are told not to use capital letters in any written lessons or correspondence, because they could “scare” the young scholars “into failure.”
Countless numbers of 18-year-olds volunteered for military duty in the past. Farm kids often drove tractors and worked with threshing machines from the age of 10 or 12. And now our best and brightest collegians are “scared” of capital letters?!
It is instructive when a school instructs its instructors to treat its students like sniveling, spineless incompetents.
 I have instructions for the students that will help them in the future, not virtually guaranty that they are losers for life: “DON’T BE SUCH ENTITLED COWARDS. DO REALIZE HOW BLEEPING LUCKY YOU ARE. NO ONE CAN OFFEND YOU UNLESS YOU LET THEM. OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS CAN’T POSSIBLY HURT YOU…AND MIGHT EVEN BE RIGHT. SUCK IT THE HELL UP AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE SO YOU CAN BE A CONTRIBUTING MEMBER OF SOCIETY AND NOT A PATHETIC LITTLE PARASITE.”
YOU’RE WELCOME.

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