Tyrannosaurus Rex: Sensitive Lover?

                Size doesn’t matter. Or maybe it does. If someone says you’re a dinosaur in bed, that might not be a bad thing. According to a new study, Tyrannosaurus Rex may actually have been a “sensitive” lover.

                This bizarre new theory was spawned in large part by the discovery of a new member of the tyrannosaur family, Daspletosaurus horneri, or “Horner’s frightful lizard.” Unusually well-preserved fossils of the beast, which lived approximately 74 million years ago and was somewhat smaller than T. Rex, were recently discovered in Montana. The most striking aspect of the discovery was the animals “face.” After analyzing the find, scientists now believe the dinosaur and other tyrannosaurs- including mighty T. rex- wore a mask of large, flat scales, with regions of tough and protective armor-like skin around the snout and jaws. They further believe that the hard surface around the snout contained a great many “foramina,” or small nerve endings, essentially turning the dinosaur’s face into a remarkably sensitive “third hand.”

                Professor Jayc Sedimayr of Louisiana State University, the study’s co-author, stated that the animal’s snoot harbored “a complex sensory web.”

                Indeed, experts aver that T. rex used its tactile and sensuous schnoz to investigate its surroundings, build nests, delicately pick up fragile eggs, and, probably, to turn itself and its partners on.       

                In the journal Scientific Reports, the researchers wrote: “In courtship, tyrannosaurids might have rubbed their sensitive faces together as a vital part of pre-copulatory play.”

                So, the fearsome, 20-foot-tall carnivore with the bulky body and 9-inch-long teeth likely spent much of its time roaming around trying to get its muzzle nuzzled? The ferocious fossil engaged in “pre-copulatory play?” Who knew? Surely the sensuous, saucy, fore-play loving lizard and its passionate proboscis should be featured in a romance novel or maybe even an adult film, no?

                “My, what a big nose you have…”

                “The better to _______ you with!”

                Coming Soon: “Jurassic Park: After Dark”