The University of Arizona recently distributed a 20-page booklet recommending to faculty that when a student feels “victimized” by a “microaggression” the appropriate response should be to say “ouch.” And the correct response from the offender should be to say “oops.”
Why not, “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!” and “nuh-uh,” respectively? It would be cleverer than the booklets suggestions.
The sage advice just keeps leaping from the truncated treatise’s pages: “If necessary, there can be further dialogue about this exchange.” Dialogue?! The easily offended young scholars will be regular Shakespeares in no time! I’d hate to hear the school’s debate team in action:
One certainly gets good bang for one’s educational buck at the U of A! Why, the booklet even offers a definition of microagressions, stating that they are “the everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs or insults, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to target persons based solely upon their marginalized group membership.”
First off, how do you slight, snub or insult somebody environmentally?
“This orange wallpaper is hideous, don’t you think?”
“Are you kidding, it’s to die for. Ouch!”
Or perhaps, “This stupid tree has dripped sap all over my bike”
“Oh…my…God. I mean, OMG! We couldn’t breathe without trees, dude. In fact, I can’t breathe now! Ouch!”
Secondly, whatever happened to the melting pot, to all of us just being Americans? No one is an American anymore, we are all a member of some supposedly marginalized sub-group. We should all take offense at that.
All you pathetic, entitled, fragile, paranoid, leftist sheep can take your perceived microaggressions and shove them up your little snowflake asses.