Students at the University of
Chicago (uchicagounited) recently tweeted out their updated supply needs,
listed under the heading “Medical Tent.” Items on the list included
“wound-packing gauze,” “CAT tourniquets,” and “trauma shears.” (This gives the
impression that they are doing battle with crack troops, perhaps special forces
units…and faring poorly. But we all know this isn’t true. Most of these kids
are afraid of their own shadow. And, comically, of starvation, dying of thirst,
expiring of toxic shock due to a dearth
of tampons, etc.)
However, also on the list of
urgently needed supplies were the following: “Vaseline,” “HIV tests,” and
“dental dams.” Hmm.
You know it’s a serious protest when
the protesters are asking for HIV tests and dental dams. “The only way we can get through
this existential crisis is by orally exploring someone else’s anus!”
Guess we know why they need the HIV
testing kits.
Note to protesters: don’t try this in
Gaza or Iran. Especially not the dental dam part.
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