Saturday, May 11, 2024

University Student Protesters Asking For HIV Tests, Dental Dams


Students at the University of Chicago (uchicagounited) recently tweeted out their updated supply needs, listed under the heading “Medical Tent.” Items on the list included “wound-packing gauze,” “CAT tourniquets,” and “trauma shears.” (This gives the impression that they are doing battle with crack troops, perhaps special forces units…and faring poorly. But we all know this isn’t true. Most of these kids are afraid of their own shadow. And, comically, of starvation, dying of thirst, expiring of toxic shock due to a dearth of tampons, etc.)

However, also on the list of urgently needed supplies were the following: “Vaseline,” “HIV tests,” and “dental dams.” Hmm.

You know it’s a serious protest when the protesters are asking for HIV tests and dental dams. “The only way we can get through this existential crisis is by orally exploring someone else’s anus!”

Guess we know why they need the HIV testing kits.

Note to protesters: don’t try this in Gaza or Iran. Especially not the dental dam part.

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