President Biden Interview With Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski
(“Morning Joe,” June 14, 2024)
Joe Scarborough: “Good morning, Mr. President, it is a great
pleasure to have you on today, even if only by a Zoom call.”
President Biden: “I am honored to be here, Zoey, Michael. And
on Fag Day, to boot.”
Scarborough: “That’s Flag Day, Mr. President.”
Biden: “Yes it is, and, you know, my great-great-great-great
grandfather worked closely with Rosa Parks, um, I mean Betsy Ross, on the
original design.”
Scarborough: “Of the flag? Old Glory?”
Biden: “Yes. They were tight, as the young ones say today.
He was the one who decided that the 13 stars should be in a circle, ‘cuz he was
in her inner circle. True story!”
Scarborough: “Wow. Let’s turn to the economy. Some have said
it isn’t the greatest right now. What do you have to say about that, Mr.
President?”
Biden: “No, no, no! It is the greatest! The greatest economy
in the world, that the world has ever known! And I’m responsible for that!
Remember, when I first came into office, inflation
was 9%. The unemployment rate was 30%, interest rates 40%!”
Mika Brzezinski: “ Remarkable! What about foreign policy Mr.
President? You know, some on the far right have said that you are
abandoning Israel and aren’t tough enough on China.”
Biden: “Foreign policy? When I took office, Ukraine was part of the Soviet Union,
and Israel was but a dream. And a guy named Mao Zedong was running China. And
did I tell you, my uncle Brosie was shot down over the Philippines in World War
II-- and was subsequently eaten by cannibals?”
Brzezinski:
“That is a truly fantastic story, Mr. President, but wasn’t his plane shot down
over the ocean? With all due respect!”
Biden:
“Indeed it was, Misha. And then he was eaten by cannibalistic mermaids.”
Brzezinski:
“How sad. Tell us a little more about your youth, Mr. President, if you would.”
Biden: “Well,
I was born a poor Black child in the streets of Detroit. I sold newspapers on
the street corner from the time I was four-years-old until I was about 15. At
which time I was drafted by the Detroit Lions to play quarterback. But I
couldn’t go to the NFL because I had already committed to being a missionary in
Zimbabwe. I did that for several years before I became a truck driver in New
Jersey. And that’s where I met Corn Pop.”
Joe &
Mika: “Wow, what a life you have led, Mr. President! Thank you for your time,
and please defeat Donald J. Trump, the chronic liar and would-be dictator, in
the upcoming election!”
Biden:
(Asleep)
[FADE]
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