Friday, May 17, 2024

President Biden Interview With Joe Scarborough & Mika Brzezinski, On "Morning Joe"


President Biden Interview With Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski (“Morning Joe,” June 14, 2024)


Joe Scarborough: “Good morning, Mr. President, it is a great pleasure to have you on today, even if only by a Zoom call.”

President Biden: “I am honored to be here, Zoey, Michael. And on Fag Day, to boot.”

Scarborough: “That’s Flag Day, Mr. President.”

Biden: “Yes it is, and, you know, my great-great-great-great grandfather worked closely with Rosa Parks, um, I mean Betsy Ross, on the original design.”

Scarborough: “Of the flag? Old Glory?”

Biden: “Yes. They were tight, as the young ones say today. He was the one who decided that the 13 stars should be in a circle, ‘cuz he was in her inner circle. True story!”

Scarborough: “Wow. Let’s turn to the economy. Some have said it isn’t the greatest right now. What do you have to say about that, Mr. President?”

Biden: “No, no, no! It is the greatest! The greatest economy in the world, that the world has ever known! And I’m responsible for that! Remember, when I first came into office, inflation was 9%. The unemployment rate was 30%, interest rates 40%!”

Mika Brzezinski: “ Remarkable! What about foreign policy Mr. President? You know, some on the far right have said that you are abandoning Israel and aren’t tough enough on China.”

Biden: “Foreign policy? When I took office, Ukraine was part of the Soviet Union, and Israel was but a dream. And a guy named Mao Zedong was running China. And did I tell you, my uncle Brosie was shot down over the Philippines in World War II-- and was subsequently eaten by cannibals?”

Brzezinski: “That is a truly fantastic story, Mr. President, but wasn’t his plane shot down over the ocean? With all due respect!”

Biden: “Indeed it was, Misha. And then he was eaten by cannibalistic mermaids.”

Brzezinski: “How sad. Tell us a little more about your youth, Mr. President, if you would.”

Biden: “Well, I was born a poor Black child in the streets of Detroit. I sold newspapers on the street corner from the time I was four-years-old until I was about 15. At which time I was drafted by the Detroit Lions to play quarterback. But I couldn’t go to the NFL because I had already committed to being a missionary in Zimbabwe. I did that for several years before I became a truck driver in New Jersey. And that’s where I met Corn Pop.”

Joe & Mika: “Wow, what a life you have led, Mr. President! Thank you for your time, and please defeat Donald J. Trump, the chronic liar and would-be dictator, in the upcoming election!”

Biden: (Asleep)


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