Swiss Army Knives...Without The Knives

 

Here’s the news we’ve all been waiting for: the iconic Swiss Army Knife will now be offered without the knife! At least in Britain. Yay!

According to the Guardian, Victorinox will soon introduce "the first range of bladeless products designed specifically for activities where a blade would not be required.” Why? To help combat the "plague of knife crime” that has afflicted the United Kingdom in recent years, of course, though that isn’t precisely how Victorinox is presenting the knifeless Swiss Army Knives.

Carl Elsener, the company’s current CEO, explained: "In some markets, the blade creates an image of a weapon. I have in mind creating a tool that would be useful for cyclists. Cyclists have a need for specific tools but not necessarily a blade.” He added, “We already have a tool specifically for golfers.”

Finally! Common sense knife control! In all seriousness, I’ve been writing about this for years. But what is meant by “some markets?” And does anyone really think the little 3” (or 1”) blades are dangerous? More dangerous than a three-iron? Or a crazed bicyclist, for that matter? I mean, besides being small and not particularly sharp, the blades don’t lock. They fold in, likely only harming the would-be attacker, Allahu Akbar.

Swiss Army Knives without the knives. Boy Scouts of America without the “Boy.” That’s the world in which we now live. What’s next, Mr. Potato Head without the potato…or the head?

Worse, we are suffering from men without courage, politicians without integrity, souls without character, minds without sanity…and communication without truth.

Unfortunately, in that sense, the knives are out for all of us. No matter what Victorinox does.