Knife Control

                Officials in England are desperately trying to appear as if they are doing something substantive to combat the country’s skyrocketing number of stabbings. London’s assault and murder rates are approaching—and even surpassing—those of New York City…for the first time in the modern era. This despite the nation’s strict gun control laws, some of the most draconian in the world.

                Truth be told, this crisis is the result of the government’s absolute refusal to acknowledge truth. First off, the assaults are made more likely—and more likely to be deadly—because of the stringent gun control laws, as law abiding citizens cannot effectively defend themselves, and would-be criminals know it. Secondly, the vast majority of the stabbings—some 85 percent of them—are perpetrated by or involve those in the country as a result of liberal immigration policies or illegal immigration, something the government will not admit. The situation can’t get measurably better until authorities can handle the truth…something that doesn’t appear likely to happen anytime soon. 

                So, what are those in power doing about the bloodshed? Talking about knife control, of course! London’s Mayor, Sadiq Khan, said, “No excuses: there is never a reason to carry a knife. Anyone who does will be caught, and they will feel the full force of the law.” The good news is no one will be able to “cut the cheese anymore.” Or their steaks, sandwiches, or rope, etc., etc. Will Swiss Army Knives, once a young boy’s staple, eventually go the way of the Passenger Pigeon?

                Mark Steyn, appearing recently on Tucker Carlson Tonight, recalled a time when he was on a beach in France, and a mom and her two daughters were nearby tanning in their bikinis. A Muslim man, offended at the sight, lit into them with a fork, repeatedly stabbing them. The women had to be taken to a hospital. Is the most relevant part of this account that the fork is dangerous? Do we also need fork control?

                Apparently so. Will there be a waiting period to purchase butcher’s knives? Automatic or spring-assisted knives? Fixed-blade knives? Butter knives? The same thing will happen in the United States eventually, too. It’s only a matter of time until Congress calls in a spokesperson for the American Knife Manufacturers Association to testify as to the group’s nefarious acts and intentions. The politicians will probably also ban the manufacture of black or silver plastic cutlery, since these utensils look alarmingly like the real things, as they’ve already done with toy guns. Only white plastic cutlery will be allowed going forward.

And the forks will have to have soft rubber tines.

Stick one in us right now, while it’s still possible. We’re done.
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(Update 4/24/2018: it appears I was again prescient. The Brits are declaring war on knives, and anything sharp and pointy, apparently. http://reason.com/archives/2018/04/24/londoners-embrace-knife-control).