Tuesday, October 4, 2022

McDonald's To Introduce Adult Happy Meals


McDonald’s recently announced plans to introduce adult-oriented meals — complete with a free toy — in an attempt to take advantage of nostalgia for the erstwhile kids’ meals, and particularly for the famous red cardboard boxes in which the meals came.

Hence, the Cactus Plant Flea Market Box, a collaboration between McDonald’s and the increasingly popular streetwear brand, which will roll out to participating stores starting on October 3rd.

In lieu of the kid-sized items included in the classic Happy Meal, the Cactus Plant Flea Market Box will feature either a Big Mac or a 10-piece Chicken McNuggets-- in addition to a soda and fries. But wait, that’s not all! The adult Happy Meals will also contain a “Cactus Buddy” and one of four collectible figurines of McDonald’s mascots Grimace, the Hamburglar and Birdie. Yay!

Or rather: OMG! Grimace, the Hamburglar, and Birdie? How infantile have we become? Why not a truly adult Happy Meal, one featuring, say, collectible figurines of adult film stars? Now that would be a Happy Meal! And possibly a happy ending!

Alternately, in the interest of intersectionality, Mickey D’s could divvy the Cactus Plant Flea Market Boxes up and have one for Black Lesbians, another for bisexual Latinos, etc., etc.

And how about a Happy Meal for Democrats? Those could feature a meat-substitute “burger,” a (recyclable) cup of Chai tea, a packet of CBD gummies, and a couple of extra mail-in ballots for the upcoming election. 


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