Thursday, November 11, 2021

In The Navy: The U.S. Launches New Era of Woke Ship Names


The USNS Harvey Milk was launched in San Diego recently in a service attended by Navy Secretary Carlos Del Toro and Milk's nephew Stuart. The ship takes its name from the first openly gay elected official in California history. Milk, who passed away in 1978, served on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. The U.S.S. Harvey Milk is just one of six new ships to be named after U.S. “civil rights leaders.”

Who knows what ships of the future U.S. fleet will be named as it gets ever woker? Perhaps there will soon be a U.S.S. Malcolm X, a U.S.S. Louis Farrakhan, a U.S.S. RuPaul, a U.S.S. Rachel Levine, and a U.S.S. Katie Hill.

In related news, satellite images show that China has built large-scale mock-ups of a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier and destroyer in its arid Northwestern region in order to prepare for a potential future naval engagement in the event of a war between the two nations. China has dramatically upgraded its military in recent years, particularly its navy, now the largest in the world, as it seeks undeniable military supremacy in the South China Sea, Indo-Pacific region, and as regards Taiwan. 

The United States Navy, on the other hand, is seeking undeniable supremacy in the use of proper pronouns while addressing non-binary sailors-- and in “open and welcoming” bathroom and locker room usage.

Addressing the challenge that China presents, a U.S. Navy spokesperson said that: “The U.S. is prepared to defend the right of transgenders to use any bathroom or locker room they choose, anywhere in the world. Let all nations know, whether they wish us well or ill, that we will go anywhere, bear any burden, and pay any price in defense of the absolutely fabulous LGBTQIIA+ community! Just as long as no one is made to feel unsafe or is exposed to physical abuse. Unless they want to be, if you know what I mean, wink, wink.”

And it's not just the Navy that is becoming much more sensitive and accommodating. The entire U.S. military is, by any measure, rapidly evolving. To this end, several branches of the service have modified their slogans. The army has made a subtle tweak to its erstwhile motto, “Rangers, lead the way!” The slogan now reads, “Rump-Rangers, lead the way!” Meanwhile, the air force has updated its motto from the stale “We’re looking for a few good men” to the much more modern “We’re looking for a few good men…or women…or non-binary people…or, you know, like, whatever.”

What about the marines, you ask? Well, the Devil Dogs have altered their slogans, too. “The few. The proud. The marines.” Is now “The Few. The Hard. In The Latrines.” Also, the leathernecks’ famous “always faithful” assertion has been changed to: “Faithful? Maybe Not. Fabulous? Always!”    

The Chinese Communist Party may have unleashed COVID-19 on the U.S., but wait until it sees what Milk, Farrakhan, and RuPaul can do to it.


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