Real News Nuggets You Can Use!
*Democrats have put forth a
bill that would make the District of Columbia the 51st state in the
union, the Constitution be damned. This would automatically give them two more
Senate seats. Moreover, it would change the entity’s name from Washington, D.C.,
to…the State of Washington, Douglass Commonwealth. Democrats voted to cancel
the reference to Christopher Columbus in naming the potential new state. For
them, it’s a twofer! You’ve got to hand it to Democrats, they are always
scheming, always pushing, always advocating, always trying to do away with any
vestige of the country’s past. Republicans, on the other hand, are always 12
steps behind, contemplating their cheese plates, afraid to make a move that could
upset someone, and hoping against hope that the mainstream media will like them
some day.
*Chicago Mayor Lori “I’m
the Public Face of This City” Lightweight Lightfoot recently came up
with yet another idea for police reform: requiring cops to get
permission to chase suspects on foot. No, I am not plagiarizing the
Babylon Bee. What a great idea! Let’s say a cop sees a beefy young man steal an
elderly lady’s purse on the sidewalk in front of him and start to walk away. Proper
etiquette demands that the officer inquire of the perp, “May I chase you?” This
only stands to reason. Moreover, this idea should be expanded to all areas of policing.
If, for example, a policeperson sees a criminal rob a retail outlet, he should
be required to address the burglar thusly: “Excuse me…may I attempt to
apprehend you?” And, if said policeperson witnesses a mass shooting event and
wants to stop the carnage, turning to the agitated gunman and clearly annunciating
“May I fire at you, or at least in your general direction?” seems the ethical
thing to do.
*A Maggie Valley, North
Carolina, motel and RV park recently used its roadside sign to display the Message
"All
Cops Are Bastards.” The clever message, becoming ever more common, is
typically represented by its acronym, ACAB, but the motel/trailer park
apparently had letters—and time—to spare. I want to see signs popping up
all over the ever more fruited plain stating “All Leftists Are Stupid,” or ALAS,
and All Progressives Are Lying Losers,” or APALL.
*Dylan Long, a Georgetown
University student, recently began a Change.org petition to rename Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport for “Dance Moms” star JoJo
Siwa. The petition’s statement reads: “Why on earth is there an airport named
after this war criminal?” Well, Dylan, Reagan did not get the U.S. into any
wars, he just won the Cold War…without firing a shot. He also oversaw the rise
of freedom around the world, negotiated unprecedented nuclear arms reduction
treaties with the Soviet Union, resuscitated the moribund Carter economy, and
restored respect for America abroad and pride in America at home. But, other
than that…
Long told the student paper The Hoya he
was just “messing around” and “decided to create a petition.” He was surprised
when it took off and neared the requested 7,500 signatures. He said Siwa is a
“good choice” for the airport’s name because of her “recent rise as a new LGBT
figure.” Indeed. Hard for a nearly heroic American president whose tenure
benefitted the world as a whole to compete with a lesbian who can dance.
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