Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Democratic Presidential Field To Grow Again?

                The herd of candidates competing to become the 2020 Democratic presidential nominee has thinned out some lately. However, if recent rumors are to be believed, the field may grow again in the near future. Rep. Eric Swalwell, Gov. John Hickenlooper, Sen. Kristen Gillibrand, Mayor Bill de Blasio and Beto O’Rourke, among others, have dropped out of the race. But it now appears that everyone else with leftist leanings is contemplating getting into the contest.
                Many are speculating that the Preordained One, the Prevaricator in a Pantsuit, Hillary Rodham Clinton, will enter the fray believing that the third time is the charm. (If so, I wouldn’t want to be working at a Macedonian content farm). Former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg appears set to pull the trigger and jump in, as well. (Sorry, Mike, I know how you despise firearms). Some folks are encouraging Michelle Obama to run, though she currently appears coy to the idea at best.
                And now we hear that former Attorney General Eric Holder is considering throwing his hat into the ring. If so, he might want to act fast and furiously, so he can get his campaign underway before the next round of caucuses and primaries. Even former Massachusetts Senator John “Effing” Kerry is said to be weighing his options. I’m sure the Iranian Mullahs are ecstatic at the news. (“He will maybe apologize to us after we nuke Israel, yes?”).
                But wait, that’s not all! Some Dems are hoping against hope that maybe…just maybe…Oprah will run. The “Queen of Media” is the Holy Grail of Possible Democratic candidates. According to a recent Rasmussen Reports survey, Ms. Winfrey would beat President Trump by 10 points.
                And, who knows, maybe Michael Moore will run. Or the Pillsbury Dough Boy. (It’s hard to tell them apart). Or Joy Behar from “The View.” Or Cher. Barbara Streisand? Jimmy Kimmel? Perhaps California Gov. Gavin Newsome will run and turn the formerly Golden State over to Lieutenant Gov. Eleni Kounalakis. Might former Georgia Rep. Stacey Abrams enter the race and shock the world? Is it too early for disgraced former California Rep. Katie Hill to announce her comeback? Americans love to forgive. And they love an underdog! And a hot chick with a bong. (Who wouldn’t want to serve in her cabinet? Party like it’s 1999 and Clinton is still in office)!
                Maybe “Flo” from the Progressive commercials will try her hand at politics. Or Jeff Bezos. Bozo the Clown?
                Or maybe the Dems will have to exhume a Kennedy, dress him up, and wield him around in Weekend at Bernie’s fashion. Probably wouldn’t be much different than what they’d have to do for Biden or Sanders…speaking of Bernie.

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