Beto O'Rourke Drops Out

            Democratic presidential contender Beto O’Rourke recently dropped out of the race. O’Rourke, who consistently polled between 1%-2%, stated: "I am announcing that my service to the country will not be as a candidate or as the nominee."

In fact, his service to the country is that he will not be serving the country as a candidate or as the nominee.

                O’Rourke says he is “dropping out, tuning in and turning on!” His plans include “playing practical jokes” on his wife, traveling around the Southwest in search of “regenerative dirt,” and jumping fences. He added, “Don’t try to talk me out of my decision. I always stick to my guns.”