Seattle Times columnist Danny Westneat recently wrote: “In terms of carbon emissions that lead to global warming, there’s probably nothing worse we can do on an individual basis than take an intercontinental flight.” Apparently, he was mistaken. Shortly thereafter, The Times published University of Washington Professor Emeritus Stephen Warren’s reply to Mr. Westneat: “Actually, there is something worse. Having a child.” According to an article on the website Campus Reform, Professor Warren suggested that the average child adds the carbon equivalent of 2,700 round-trip flights from Seattle to Europe to their parent’s carbon legacy. He continued: “By choosing to reproduce, you’re responsible for some fraction of the carbon-dioxide emissions of your children and grandchildren, and all their descendants. This is your ‘carbon legacy.’” No wonder why the Democrats are so pro-abortion.
By Professor Warren’s logic, it all goes back to Adam and Eve. Their original sin was giving birth. God is ultimately to blame, then. His command to “Go forth and multiply,” was, in retrospect, a terrible mistake. Adam and Eve took Him (or Her?) literally. By the time they left the Garden of Eden, they had spawned four generations numbering 1,647 descendants. They must have hated the Earth.
The good news is that researchers at Stanford University and the University of California-Berkeley, in a recent study published in the journal Nature Climate Change, predicted that global warming will boost suicide rates worldwide. (Yay!! Down goes our carbon footprint!). The study’s lead author, Marshall Burke, told Berkeley News that researchers “found very strong evidence that abnormally hot weather increases both suicide rates and the use of depressive language on social media.” (Is global warming self-correcting?).
Alright, men, do your duty. Go get a vasectomy. Looks like a “carbon legacy” will be the only legacy you are allowed to leave. And keep that one to a minimum, won’t you?