The Huffington Post Suggests Thanksgiving Be Cancelled

The Huffington Post recently suggested Thanksgiving be cancelled due to its large carbon footprint. The leftist “news” outlet recommended that people stop travelling for Thanksgiving so as not to use so much fossil-fuel generated energy. (So, if you liked the movie “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” you are an insensitive lout who doesn’t care about the planet). The HuffPost also said folks should eat less meat and more vegetables to lessen their environmental impact. So much for “Turkey Day.” Moreover, the site advised against purchasing ingredients sourced from far away. That’ll complicate your shopping a bit. “Excuse me, I see this salad dressing comes from New York. This is Nebraska. I mean, ‘hello!’ do you have anything from Omaha?”

Progressives have already largely expunged Columbus Day from our list of holidays. Columbus discovered America, so he’s been permanently blacklisted. Now they want to radically alter or ban Thanksgiving. Makes sense. They are more into feeling victimized, excluded, disrespected and marginalized than being thankful for anything. And they want everyone else to feel that way, too.

I’m sure the Huffing-and-Puffington Post (as Rush Limbaugh calls it) will soon call for a ban on Christmas, if it hasn’t already. Too many people travel too far to get home for Christmas, as well. Additionally, far too many turkeys, hams and other meats are prepared. And what about all the cookie baking? How much electricity are all those ovens set at 400 degrees Fahrenheit using up? What’s arguably even worse is all the trees cut down for the banal enjoyment of the rubes in flyover country. Talk about oxygen depletion! And artificial trees may be even worse for the planet! Then there are the exploited, non-union elves working 60-hour workweeks. And how much food do Santa’s reindeer have to eat to get the energy to fly all over the Earth? Reindeer flatulence alone probably contributes measurably to global warming. And we can add to all of this: chestnuts roasting over an open fire and the disposal/burning of countless tons of Christmas wrapping paper. Egads! Greenhouse gases galore! 

I’m guessing Slate will call for a moratorium on Easter celebrations this spring. It’s a religiously non-inclusive holiday steeped in rabbit appropriation and egg theft. The colored dyes could be dangerous and too much chocolate is consumed. Eating ham and lamb could be offensive to Muslims. Parades are a waste of energy, Easter bonnets a pointless misuse of fabric, usually only worn once a year in a shameless display of materialism.

Will the Daily Kos call for an end to Memorial Day? It’s a celebration of militarism and imperialism, is it not? How much material and energy is used making flags? And all the grilling sends toxic, planet-killing gases into the atmosphere.

Who can doubt Mother Jones will soon demand we do away with the Fourth of July?  The air and noise pollution all the fireworks generate is staggering! And celebrating the birth of the nation that misogynistic, white supremacists founded is patently offensive.

Put simply, to the progressive mind, any holiday, gesture or event that celebrates America or its heritage is bad.*

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*After 9/11 and during the Gulf War, progressives even warned Americans to stop putting magnetic or adhesive “Support Our Troops” decals on their cars as they could cause the paint underneath to discolor slightly over time.