Notre Dame To Cover Christopher Columbus Murals

                The University of Notre Dame will hide 12 large hand-painted murals of Christopher Columbus’ time in America due to their depiction of him as a “beneficent explorer.” Notre Dame President Rev. John Jenkins said the murals, which have graced the Main Building since the 1800s, will be covered by “woven material.” Italian artist Luigi Gregori painted the murals directly onto the plaster walls, so they cannot simply be moved to another location. The paintings, some of which are of a Christian nature, hide from view “the darker side of this story,” according to Rev. Jenkins. So the school will hide the paintings. Memo to Rev. Jenkins: when you hide something that hides something, that doesn’t make what was originally hidden appear. Just sayin’.

               Though the school claims it is veiling the murals out of concern for the feelings of Native Americans, I think it is obvious that the institution just hates Italians.

  Notre Dame’s motto is Vita, Dulcedo, Spes-- meaning life, sweetness, hope. It should now be amended to “life, sweetness, hope and change.”

  It would not surprise me—and I’m being very serious here—if someday in the not-too-distant future the university decided to cover or remove its most famous features to avoid offending anyone in the world. The Hesburgh Library is adorned by an enormous mural of Christ known by most as “Touchdown Jesus,” as it faces Notre Dame Stadium, though its real title is “The Word of Life.” This is patently offensive on several fronts. It could be offensive to Muslims. It could be triggering to those who still believe football is too violent a sport. And the designation, “The Word of Life” could be problematic to the pro-choice crowd. Jesus will have to be covered up.

 The campus’ Main Building also hosts the school’s most iconic landmark. Resplendent in actual gold leaf, the massive Golden Dome sits atop the structure and is visible for miles around. A 19-foot-tall statue of Mary Our Lady graces the Dome’s peak.

 It won’t be long until Mary is discreetly removed and the Golden Dome is re-christened “The Dome of the Rock II,” in solidarity with Muslim people’s around the globe.

“Hey, hey, ho, ho, Christopher Columbus has got to go.”  

America has recently “discovered” that European emigration to the New World was detrimental to the rest of the planet. What will we discover next? Perhaps that Judeo-Christian values have been responsible for bringing the world out of the Dark Ages? Not likely. That ship has sailed. Long ago.

Circa 1492.