Tuesday, January 1, 2019

NBC New Year's Eve 2019

Tuesday, December 31, 2019    11:51 P.M. EST
Times Square (New York City)
NBC Platform

Carson Daly: “Well, the excitement is mounting…we’re getting close to midnight here in New York! And, thankfully, we’re not nearly as wet as last year! No rain or snow this go around. And no umbrellas to watch out for! Chrissy, what are you looking forward to in 2020? What’s your 20/20 vison, hahaha?”

Chrissy Teigen: “Ha! Good one, Carson! Well, as you know, I like to steam my vag. My resolution for this coming year is to try bleaching my anus, too.”

Carson: “Good to know, Chrissy, good to know. Do they just bring out a gallon of Clorox, or—"

Chrissy: “I think we have a picture we can put up.”

Carson: “Well, unfortunately we have to take a quick commercial break before we come back for the ball drop. That reminds me of something….but it’ll have to wait. We’ll see you in sixty seconds (points into camera).”

Commercial: “Make 2020 the best year ever, ladies……with Ronco’s amazing new Vag-O-Matic Genital Steamer! This incredible, portable cleaning tool can reach the hard to get to places and comes with several accessories including a pocket-sized turkey baster, hair pic and absorbent cloth! Order before midnight tonight and receive a four-ounce jar of glitter! You might ordinarily expect to pay over $100 for this kit, but take advantage of this fantastic television offer and get the steamer, baster, pic, absorbent cloth…and glitter… for just $29.95! That’s $29.95! And if you order now, we’ll double the offer!! That’s right, you’ll receive two vaginal steamers and all their accessories for just $29.95! Make sure your vag is clean and open for business in 2020! Hurry! Operators are squatting by!” 

Carson: “Welcome back everyone! It’s now just four minutes before the hour. Father time will soon be on his way out, and baby New Year will be born. The ball will soon be dropping, so I hope you all have your families gathered around for the big moment! Speaking of balls, Chrissy, I think mine have dropped, too, since I’ve gotten my penile implant--”


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