North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un has decreed that every citizen of the Hermit Kingdom must give the governmenta day to be used as fertilizer to boost the country’s anemic agricultural production, reports indicate. The Dear Leader pulled this mandate out of his own substantial ass during a New Year’s address to his nation. Radio Free Asia reports that if people do not meet the daily quota of human fecal matter, they will be required to come up with 600 pounds of compost or livestock manure in its place.
Think about that for a moment. An entire country has made a New Year’s resolution to produce more crap. Literally. Only in a socialist worker’s paradise are you not only not expected to cut the crap, but are mandated to produce much more of it. Kim Jong-un wants citizens to thank him from the heart of their bottoms. And that’s no shit.
How are undernourished North Koreans supposed to produce 200 pounds of human poop a day when they don’t eat 200 pounds of food a year? Only Kim Jong-un is that full of crap. Supposedly, the pressure to produce has made some people ask to be paid in poo, rather than cash, or even pay cash for feces. At least the quotas are applied to everyone evenly! Equality over everything! Especially prosperity, reason, dignity and hope.
Unfortunately, equality of outcome is impossible in reality. Even when it comes to excrement.
But that no longer prevents Democrats in America from extolling the joys of socialism. Leftists like Alexandria Occasional-Cortex, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, and Kamala Harris sling Marxist bullshit at dumbed-down American citizens like angry chimpanzees.
They’re so full of shit they should be in North Korea. They’d be a big help to Kim Jong-dung.