North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un has decreed that every
citizen of the Hermit Kingdom must give the government 200
pounds of human manure a day to be used as fertilizer to boost the
country’s anemic agricultural production, reports indicate. The Dear Leader
pulled this mandate out of his own substantial ass during a New Year’s address
to his nation. Radio Free Asia
reports that if people do not meet the daily quota of human fecal matter, they
will be required to come up with 600 pounds of compost or livestock manure in
its place.
Think
about that for a moment. An entire country has made a New Year’s resolution to
produce more crap. Literally. Only in a socialist worker’s paradise are you not
only not expected to cut the crap, but are mandated to produce much more of it.
Kim Jong-un wants citizens to thank him
from the heart of their bottoms. And that’s no shit.
How are
undernourished North Koreans supposed to produce 200 pounds of human poop a day
when they don’t eat 200 pounds of food a year? Only Kim Jong-un is that full of
crap. Supposedly, the pressure to produce has made some people ask to be paid
in poo, rather than cash, or even pay cash
for feces. At least the quotas are applied to everyone evenly! Equality over
everything! Especially prosperity, reason, dignity and hope.
Unfortunately,
equality of outcome is impossible in reality. Even when it comes to excrement.
But
that no longer prevents Democrats in America from extolling the joys of
socialism. Leftists like Alexandria Occasional-Cortex, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie
Sanders, and Kamala Harris sling Marxist bullshit at dumbed-down American
citizens like angry chimpanzees.
They’re so full of shit they should
be in North Korea. They’d be a big help to Kim Jong-dung.
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