Thursday, May 24, 2018

Stormy Daniels: Hooray For (West) Hollywood!

                Hooray for Hollywood!

                Well, at least West Hollywood, the mayor of which joined other city officials recently to present adult-film star “Stormy Daniels” with a key to the city…and a city proclamation, according to media reports. The city’s muckety-mucks recognized Daniels via press release for her “leadership in the #RESIST movement, and averred that she has “proven herself to be a profile in courage by speaking truth to power even under threats to her safety and extreme intimidation.” Apparently fearing that this alone was insufficient idolatry of the Anomic Blonde, the city also proclaimed May 23rd “Stormy Daniels Day.” West Hollywood, a city that had previously passed resolutions calling for articles of impeachment to be introduced against President Trump, honored Stormy largely for her own attempts to aid and abet the impeachment of Trump for questionable moral character.
                Daniels started stripping as a 17-year-old in a club in Baton Rouge, and has gone on to star in 275 adult films, including true cinematic classics such as “Da Vagina Code” and “Revenge of the Dildos.” The unnatural blonde then got into directing XXX-movies. She gave a tip of her hat to Judd Apatow, from whom she says she learned her directing skills. Apatow, the big-time mainstream Hollywood director who cast Daniels in a number of his popular movies, told Conan O’Brien, “She’s very nice and super smart and great to work with so we just kept asking her to be in all of our movies.”
                Ms. Daniels flirted (a term with which she has vast and intimate knowledge) with a run for political orifice  office herself a few years ago, contemplating campaigning for the U.S. Senate. Her would-be slogan? “Stormy Daniels: Screwing People Honestly.”
                In days of yore, it was usually great inventors, titans of industry, renowned artists or amazing athletes who were rewarded with keys to cities and feted with their own “days.” Today, it is only a matter of time before Jenna Jameson is appointed ambassador to Denmark and Jesse Jane becomes Secretary of Health and Education. “Alexis Texas” may well soon win a Nobel Prize for perfecting the female orgasm while informing us all that each and every climax helps combat climate change. Surely Tori Black will soon be knighted and Madison Ivy will be handed the keys to New York City…as long as they are in the #RESIST movement.
                Local efforts to impeach a president have no legal standing. Loco attempts to impugn the legitimacy of the president, however, can have serious consequences. The mainstream media is currently obsessed with all things pornographic. They perpetually appear near climax when interviewing Stormy or her exceptionally strange lawyer.
                The Press and The Swamp have no moral character. They make beautiful, if banal, obscenities together. True pornography can be no better defined than the willful attempt to impeach a legally, democratically elected president for no valid reason and to attack the foundations—and Founders-- of the most tolerant and successful nation in the history of the world…for one’s own benefit.

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