McDonald's Installing Cowbell Buzzers

                McDonald’s recently announced that it’s replacing the frozen hamburger patties it previously used with fresh, real beef patties on its Quarter Pounders, etc., and that these will now all be cooked to order. In an effort to continue to serve customers in a timely manner and have its meals qualify as “fast food,” the iconic burger joint is installing cowbell buzzers in its kitchens that will ring every single time a hamburger order requiring fresh beef is placed.

                Which is driving many of its employees crazy.

                Yet, “Mickey D’s” competitors are scrambling to catch up with its actions.

                Burger King, for example, will now play a recording yelling “The King is Dead, Long Live the King” every time an order including a hamburger is placed. Kentucky Fried Chicken will broadcast a “clucking sound” when an order is up, while Carl’s Jr. will feature a “bomb blast” each and every time a Green Burrito is requested.

                Moreover, Jack-in-the-Box will announce every order with “Whoomp, there it is!” and Arby’s says it will trumpet the arrival of its roast beef sandwiches with an actual trumpet, and sound a loud horn when an order involving chicken is up. Culver’s will play the opening strains of “Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony” whenever someone orders a “Pretzel Haus Pub Burger,” Chick-fil-a will broadcast “Ode To Joy” when an order is up, Cane’s will issue a few notes from “Thunderclaps” when it gives you the fingers, Chipotle will air the melodic phrase “hahahaha Wipeout” for each and every order ready, and Sonic will blare a “siren sound” at decibel levels akin to an “Emergency Alert System” tornado warning before delivering an order to a customer.

                For its part, Wendy’s will blast “Here’s the Beef” when serving a hamburger. Taco Bell will produce a lengthy “farting sound” for every Taco order placed, while proudly announcing the imminent delivery of a burrito with two bars of the “Mexican Hat Dance” song. And, finally, the sound of a toilet flushing will permeate all Taco John’s restaurants when an order is up.

                Once again, McDonald’s appears to lead the fast-food industry in (an) innovation.

                Only time will tell if its customers think it’s a Kroc.