McDonald’s recently announced that it’s replacing the frozen
hamburger patties it previously used with fresh, real beef patties on its
Quarter Pounders, etc., and that these will now all be cooked to order. In an
effort to continue to serve customers in a timely manner and have its meals
qualify as “fast food,” the iconic burger joint is installing cowbell buzzers
in its kitchens that will ring every single time a hamburger order requiring
fresh beef is placed.
Which
is driving many of its employees crazy.
Yet,
“Mickey D’s” competitors are scrambling to catch up with its actions.
Burger
King, for example, will now play a recording yelling “The King is Dead, Long Live the King” every time an order including
a hamburger is placed. Kentucky Fried Chicken will broadcast a “clucking sound”
when an order is up, while Carl’s Jr. will feature a “bomb blast” each and
every time a Green Burrito is requested.
Moreover,
Jack-in-the-Box will announce every order with “Whoomp, there it is!” and Arby’s says it will
trumpet the arrival of its roast beef sandwiches with an actual trumpet, and
sound a loud horn when an order involving chicken is up. Culver’s will play the
opening strains of “Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony” whenever someone orders a
“Pretzel Haus Pub Burger,” Chick-fil-a will broadcast “Ode To Joy” when an
order is up, Cane’s will issue a few notes from “Thunderclaps” when it gives
you the fingers, Chipotle will air the melodic phrase “hahahaha Wipeout” for
each and every order ready, and Sonic will blare a “siren sound” at decibel
levels akin to an “Emergency Alert System” tornado warning before delivering an
order to a customer.
For its
part, Wendy’s will blast “Here’s the
Beef” when serving a hamburger. Taco Bell will produce a lengthy “farting
sound” for every Taco order placed, while proudly announcing the imminent
delivery of a burrito with two bars of the “Mexican Hat
Dance” song. And, finally, the sound of a toilet flushing will permeate all
Taco John’s restaurants when an order is up.
Once again,
McDonald’s appears to lead the fast-food industry in (an) innovation.
Only time
will tell if its customers think it’s a Kroc.
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