It's never too early to start thinking about your taxes, fellow citizens. Long before you reach for your W-4 form, or make that check out to Uncle Sam, take a look at some of the fantastic things the tax dollars taken from you (under penalty of law) have paid for recently!
In 2017, we spent:
*$30,000 on “Doggie Hamlet” via the National Endowment for the Arts. [“To pee, or not to pee (on master’s Persian rug), that is the question.”]
*$700,000 for a community center with high-speed internet for LaGrange, Arkansas, a town of 78 inhabitants. (Only $8,974 per person! Let’s do this for every small town in every state!)
*$1.5 million for a study to answer the age-old question of how to make tomatoes taste better. (This is why government is so inefficient. I’d say make them taste like bacon, and only charge Uncle Sam $50. Savings to the American taxpayer: $1,499,950)
*$2 million for EPA security needs due to threats from climate change activists. (Want to lessen pollution? Get rid of the climate change activists)
*$15 million to train Kenyan farmers on how to use Facebook. (Coincidentally, the same amount of money Facebook spent on how to use Kenyan farmers)
*$15 million training Walmart cashiers in Mexico. (Too easy. Insert your own joke here).
*$255 million repairing roads…in Afghanistan. (WTF? There aren’t $255 million worth of roads in Afghanistan)
You're feeling better already, aren't you?
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