Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Man Self Identifies As Vampire Named "Darkness"

            “Darkness Vlad Tepes” has been living as a vampire for 13 years. He sleeps in a custom-made coffin and drinks cow’s and pig’s blood, as well as a human blood “substitute.” (Sold at fine grocery stores everywhere! Just add water!). He follows a strict balanced diet which keeps him away from fatty foods. (Fat bad, blood good! Why, he’s a regular nutritional role-model! “Remember to cut down on fats and drink at least 8 cups of animal blood daily, boys and girls!”).
            Darkness says he “just wants to be treated like everyone else.” He admits that until recently he’s had very few problems from other people, but claims he was recently harassed at a pub in Oswaldtwistle while out for a drink with friends. Darkness, who is 25, says he was verbally abused there because of his appearance. According to the USA Today Network via the Lancashire Telegraph, Darkness stated: “I went into the pub with two mates and a lad piped up and asked if I was abused as a child when I was young because of the way I look.
            “I felt so ashamed and embarrassed that I would get asked such a personal question based on my choice of lifestyle. Everyone has their beliefs and I don’t believe I should be persecuted for following mine. I might be a vampire but I just want to be treated like everyone else. People have got to accept the fact that what’s normal to them is not normal to us, and what’s normal to us is not normal to them.”
            Darkness, who changed his name by way of a legal document called a deed poll, said he first became attracted to the vampire lifestyle as a teenager. “My life was always a secret until I came out two years ago," he said. (Came out of the coffin?).
             “To be a vampire is to believe that I have a living body but a dead soul. But I think there’s a lot of pre-conceptions about being a vampire from films and books like Twilight or Dracula. Garlic doesn’t affect me and I can quite happily walk around in the sunlight. The coffin is purely a choice option to being a vampire, it’s one that I do because it feels right.”
            Darkness has lived in Blackburn, England, since 2012, and said he is high up in an East Lancashire “coven” of vampires called Underworld. “Being a vampire is difficult and of course there are struggles in everyday life," he said. "But I’m happy to stand by my choice.”(He just doesn’t want to face any consequences).
            According to sanguinarius.org, an online resource for ‘real vampires,’ a vampire is "someone who incorporates fictional vampire imagery and trappings into his or her personal life, often cultivating a ‘Vampiric’ physical appearance. This is including but not limited to a very pale complexion, a wardrobe made up predominantly of dark clothing, a style of dress which is modeled on Victorian or Renaissance fashions, black or blood-red lipstick, sunglasses, fangs, and FX contacts.”
            Thanks for clearing that up.
            This, in turn, led me to pursue the definition of ‘sanguinarius.’ Here it is, according to theurbandictionary.com: “Someone in the vampire life style who has a physical thirst, need, craving for blood (which is non-erotic in nature) in more significant quantity than is generally required or desired by other blood-drinkers. Sanguinarians (a word from the Latin root ‘sanguinarius’, meaning ‘bloodthirsty’) apparently do not get the benefits from pranic energy, or else they are unable to feed psychically like psi and energy vampires, for whom blood and pranic energy are apparently interchangeable.”
            What was your favorite part of that delicious definition? Mine was “… in more significant quantity than is generally required or desired by other blood-drinkers.”  Apparently sanguinarians are the most bloodthirsty of vampires, beastly, blood-besotted bogeymen on a perpetual banshee bender!

            Free speech or no, you and I don’t have the moral right to question or judge Darkness. Remember, there is no such thing as abnormal behavior anymore. Anyway, we wouldn’t want to be non-inclusive and make Vlad feel ashamed and embarrassed again, poor dead soul. Who knew vampires were so thin-skinned?

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