Even Aldous Huxley would be surprised. It may not be A Brave
New World we’re entering, but it is certainly a strange—if gay--
new world.
Sony Corporation is intent on
introducing a bevy of LGBTQ characters into its wildly successful Marvel
Cinematic Universe in the near future. According to the entertainment blog We
Got This Covered, the company “is developing a live-action ‘Spider-Verse’ movie”
that would feature a bisexual
Spider-Man. Andrew Garfield, who played the lead in “The Amazing
Spider-Man” and “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” a number of years ago, floated the
notion of a gay Spider-Man during an interview with Entertainment Weekly way
back in 2013. Garfield’s replacement, Tom Holland, has apparently also lobbied
for a gay Spider-Man. The We Got This Covered report claimed that Marvel
Studios “is particularly keen on getting Garfield back, as they want to portray
his version of the hero as bisexual and give him a boyfriend in the film.”
Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige had already recently confirmed that Marvel
would soon be debuting an openly transgender superhero.
Feige appeared at the New York Film
Academy last October where he was asked if the studio had plans to introduce
more LGBTQ characters into the universe, in particular trans characters. He
promptly replied, “Yes. Absolutely. Yes. Very soon. In a movie we’re shooting
right now.” Feige. Is. An. Eager beaver.
And why not? Who wouldn’t thrill to
a universe of totally woke, intersectionally inspired super-heroes? Sure, any
member of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning community is,
by definition, a super-hero, but how awesome will they be when they truly have
super-powers, as well?! Spider-Man is already part man and part spider, or
transspecied if you will. If he is made to be bisexual, too, the intersectional
diversity will be breathtaking to witness. And Marvel will have just scratched
the surface of politically correct potential.
Ironman could come out as
non-binary. He could be Ironman one moment and Iron Maiden the next. He/she
could state that “they” and “them” are his/her preferred pronouns. Mysterio
could be anything at all or nothing—at the same time. Captain America could be
presented as a Marxist, atheistic, bisexual, mulatto she-male. What fun! Pepper
Potts could be reintroduced as the first lesbian prostitute super-hero. Hulk
could question his gender, ethnicity, sexuality and color. That
would give the kiddies something to think about! Dr. Strange could give hormone
treatments to a new crop of very young super-heroes…and perform abortions, as
well. The Scarlet Witch, Ultron, Ego, Thanos, Carol Danvers, Red Skull, the
Winter Soldier, Nebula, Falcon, Loki and the Black Widow could be involved in
“throuples,” orgies, polyamory, bestiality and hybristophilia. With 73
genders and total sexual fluidity, and a little Hollywood imagination and
creativity, there’s no end to the possible prurient permutations. (Look for
Marvel’s new film, “Masterbator of the Universe.” It’s coming soon…to a theater
near you. A new character, Steely Dan, has a super-power you have to see to
believe!)
This new and improved group of
super-heroes will stand before you, larger than life, and Proudly proclaim
their PRIDE: “Tremble before our tolerance! Be wowed by our wokeness! Pander to
our political correctness! Drink in our diversity! Kowtow to our kink! We are
fierce! We are queer! We are fabulous! And we are…in…your…face!”
Marvelous.
No comments:
Post a Comment