Wednesday, February 26, 2020

A Joe Biden Campaign Stop

A Joe Biden Campaign Stop
Somewhere in South Carolina
Friday, February 28th, 2020

Joe Biden: “I gotta tell you all, I am so happy to be here in South Dakota today! You know, my parents used to take me to see Mount Rushmore about every few years, and I would glance at the faces of the great presidents-- Washington, Lincoln, FDR and Fillmore, and I would think to myself: could I become president someday? Maybe even be placed on this very same great stone outcropping? Well, now I have a chance. And, you know, man that would feel good! And I’ve paid my dues to get here, let me tell ya’. I remember sitting next to John Fitzgerald Kennedy during the Cuban Missile Crisis and saying to him, ‘Mr. President, the Russkies will back down if you give them a chance. I know it. You just have to play your cards right.’ Fortunately, he took my advice. I remember marching arm-in-arm with the black people in Selma, Alaska…er, Alabama…in 1965. We walked all the way from Selma to Montgomery Wards. Remember it like it was yesterday. I recall being in ‘Nam-- ’71 I believe it was—and working with General MacArthur on the brilliant invasion of Inchon. More recently, I have strived to pave the way for negroes, womenfolk and those in the LBGTIQ community to get the acceptance and recognition they so richly deserve. And I’m fighting against the NRA, standing alone really. You know, 250 million Americans have been shot to death just since 2007. That’s unacceptable. And, you know, I was so proud of my late son Beau, who was Attorney General of the United States. I’m equally proud of my other son, Hunter, who has served so faithfully and diligently on the boards of various companies around the world. So, in closing, let me just say that I promise you all that, despite what my opponents say, I will not flag or fail in my bid to become a United States Senator. Because, like I told my dear friend Barack Obama when I was his beloved Vice-President in 2007, ‘this is a big effing deal!’ Again, it’s great to be here in the great state of North Carolina, and I appreciate all of you coming to see me today. So go home and relax now, maybe turn on your Victrolas or watch ‘Bonanza,’ and get ready to go out to your polling place and pull the lever for ‘Old Uncle Joe 30330’ tomorrow! Thank you!”

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