Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Ben & Jerry's Introduces "Pecan Resist" Ice Cream

                And now there is an anti-Trump ice cream flavor.
                Ben & Jerry’s took to Facebook recently to proudly announce: “Today we launch Pecan Resist! This flavor supports groups creating a more just and equitable nation for us all, and who are fighting President Trump’s regressive agenda.” The manifesto went on to say, “We cannot be silent in the face of the President’s policies that attack and attempt to roll back decades of progress on racial and gender equity, climate change, LGBTQ rights, and refugee and immigrant rights—all issues that have been at the core of our social mission for 40 years.”
   This is a stupefying—and stultifying—claim. Go back even one decade and gay marriage wasn’t allowed. Trump has never tried to elicit support for the repeal of Obergefell v. Hodges. Gay marriage is the law of the land now. Progressives like Barack Obama have done the most to sabotage racial and gender relations. Climate change is the biggest hoax ever perpetrated by mankind…on mankind. LGBTQ “rights” have never been broader, stronger, or more mainstream then they are today. Illegal immigrants have no “right” to break the law and invade a sovereign nation like the United States.
                A portion of the proceeds from sales of the new social-justice-warrior ice cream, whose carton features a design by California-based activist Favianna Rodriguez, will go to help support four radical leftist organizations: Color of Change, Women’s March, NETA (an entity that provides “medical” marijuana to New England dispensaries), and Honor the Earth.
                This is not the first time that the wholly-owned subsidiary of the foreign (Anglo-Dutch) firm Unilever has utilized a frozen dairy product in an attempt to bolster a “progressive” cause. To celebrate the legalization of same-sex marriage in the United States in 2015, Ben & Jerry’s relabeled its Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream “I Dough, I Dough.”
                I know, I know. I think. WTF? It’s a good thing the company isn’t in charge of naming anything that matters.
                What virtue-signaling faux flavor will the company roll out next? I, for one, am keen to guess:

                *The People’s Pistachio?
                *Marxist Maple Nut?
                *French (Revolution) Vanilla?
                *Che’s Chocolate Chip?
                *Lenin’s Luscious Lemon-Lime?
                *The Ends Justify the Means I Scream?
                *From Each According To His Ability, To Each According To His Needs Neopolitan?

                What if there existed a conservative ice cream maker that wanted to get in everyone’s face…literally and figuratively? Would we see “flavors” such as:

                *Wild Barry’s Single-Payer Cookie Dough
                *Pocahontas Pecan
                *Big Fucking Deal Double-Dip
                *Lock Her Up Butterscotch
                *Idiot Ice
                *Socialists Suck Strawberry
                *Progressives Lead Us Down A Rocky Road
                *Bill Clinton Popped My Cherry Surprise
                *Save America Salted Pretzel Supreme

                Leftists will do anything to aid their cause, as I’ve said many times before. Absolutely anything. If it means weaponizing ice cream so be it. “Pecan Resist?”

                That’s truly nuts.

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