According to a new study, “rapid global warming” is endangering polar bears because it is “speeding up the movement of sea ice off Alaska’s coasts.” U.S. Geological Survey research ecologist George Durner, lead author of said study, says that most sea ice moves throughout the year, requiring polar bears to continually walk to stay within their preferred habitat. He likened the bears plight to living on a treadmill that has picked up speed because ice is thinner, more brittle and moving faster due to wind and ocean currents. This begs the question, “W.T.F?!?”
Just how fast does Dr. Durner think the sea ice is moving? It may be traveling at more than a “glacial” pace, but that isn’t saying much. Some sea ice is stable and essentially permanent, yet some floes naturally move with ocean currents. These floes are incredibly heavy and wind does not propel them at alarming speeds. Watch a bear walking on one of them, Dr. Durner, or watch a ship at rest on the sea. Contrary to what the U.S. Geo-illogical Survey would have us believe, the pale bears aren’t being unjustly conveyed as if on a moving sidewalk (“travellator” to you Brits) set at warp speed. “Hey, Bob, let’s go down to the shore and watch the polar bears whizzing by.” The Earth itself is spinning at an astoundingly rapid rate, over 1,000 miles-per-hour at the equator and more than 700 miles-per-hour where I’m currently standing, but my legs are becalmed. It would seem to be Dr. Durner’s logic that has become thinner and more brittle.
By-the-way: polar bears were listed as threatened in 2008, and the “U.S. polar bear recovery plan” (kind of like the Marshall Plan for bruins) states that without action to address climate change—the primary cause of diminishing sea ice—it is unlikely that polar bears can be saved. This despite the fact that there were only about 10,000 of the animals alive in 1970 while current estimates put their numbers at between 20,000 and 25,000.
Rapid global dumbing. I can’t bear it.