University Of Kansas Bans Gorillas

                 A University of Kansas student housing department employee recently wrote to a resident advisor, informing him that he cannot use an image of a gorilla for a jungle-themed floor decoration.  According to Campus Reform, which had obtained the email, Assistant Complex Director Dale Morrow explained to the RA that: “First, gorillas represent a very masculine image, and I feel that this would not be inclusive to all of our residents on that floor.” (Feminine, neuter…masculine…doesn’t masculine have its own place in diversity?).

                In the missive, sent at the start of the current academic year, he further advised the wayward RA: “I think it would be best if your floor chose a different theme animal to be more inclusive.”

                This from a school whose own mascot could be seen as a tribute to the “jayhawkers,” a group of 2,000 Kansans that raided Osceola, Missouri on September 22, 1861, laying it to waste and killing many residents.

                And what kind of theme animal would be totally inclusive, Dale? A cat? They are the very symbol of femininity. That’s not inclusive. But I bet you’d be fine with that, wouldn’t you? How about an elephant? Just kidding. Buck up old boy, and put down the glycerin pills…I know that’s the symbol of the evil Republicans. Bald Eagle? I know, I know, I’m incorrigible! Just my zesty sense of humor run amok, Dale!

                How about a slug? There are slugs in the jungle, Dale.

                And we know there are slugs on campus.