Saturday, October 15, 2016

James Madison University Bans 35 Phrases From Campus Use

                 James Madison would be appalled. At the university named after the esteemed founder and “Father of the Constitution,” this year’s freshman orientation leaders were given a list of 35 things they were to avoid saying. The verboten phrases included “you have such a pretty face,” and “love the sinner, hate the sin.”
                These demonic ditties “widen the diversity gap” and do not “create a safe and inclusive environment,” according to a seven-page handout given to the tolerant and inclusive young scholars. According to The College Fix, the list appears to be adapted from a book by Dr. Maura Cullen titled, “35 Dumb Things Well-Intended People Say: Surprising Things We Say that Widen the Diversity Gap.” In each case, an explanation was given as to why the phrase should be avoided.
                Bill Wyatt, James Madison University’s director of communications, told the website via email that “this was just an exercise, prior to orientation, to get our volunteers to understand how language affects others.” However, page one of the handout states that orientation leaders should “use this handout as a resource” to help accomplish the goal of creating a “safe and inclusive environment for your first year students.” The handout also instructed the volunteers to “take some time to reflect on your prejudices and biases, and how that might affect your interactions with students.”
                Per The College Fix, here are the top 35 dumb things to avoid saying on campus, with my own comments and/or explanations as to why they should be avoided like a back-alley hooker:

1. “Some of my best friends are …”-by attempting to be inclusive you are labeling and being exclusive
2. “I know exactly how you feel.”-
not possible for a white male
3. “I don’t think of you as -as a what?
4. “The same thing happens to me too.”-it can’t, because you are not the other person/minority
5. “It was only a joke! Don’t take things so seriously.”-
screw you, that’s easy for you to say, Reginald (the straight, wealthy) Whiteboy
6. What do ‘your’ people think.”- okay, this one I wouldn’t use, but “your people” refer to themselves this way frequently (“my people,” “our people”)
7. “What are you?” or “Where are you really from?”-
8. “I don’t see color” or “I’m color blind.”-
you are blind to our pain…and a liar!
9. “You are so articulate.”-
that certainly is a vicious slur on a college campus today
10. “It is so much better than it used to be. Just be patient.”-
even after 8 years of Obama, American society is still permeated by injustice, so don’t tell me to be patient you bigoted assh*le
11. “You speak the language very well.”-the handout actually states that this phrase “also asserts that there is a proper way to speak English,” and “that all native English speakers are proficient.” First off, we wouldn’t want to say that any use of the language is any better or worse than any other, would we? And we’re paying how much for this level of excellence? Secondly, it does not assert that all native English speakers are proficient. (Ever heard Ryan Lochte, Harry Reid, Roseanne Barr, or Donald Trump speak?)
12. Asking black people about their hair or hygiene
.-but asking other folks about theirs is okay?
13. Saying to LBGTQ people “what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is your business.”-this is supposed to- hurtfully- minimize the breadth and depth of their relationship outside of the boudoir. I suggest just adding “-or wherever-” after bedroom and you should be golden, so to speak.
14. “Yes, but you are a ‘good’ one.”-
a phrase that has never been uttered on campus about a conservative, white male
15. “You have such a pretty face.”-
supposedly this phrase actually means, “if only you weren’t fat.” Then does the phrase, “you have nice ta-tas” actually mean “if only you had a nice butt?”
16. “I never owned slaves.”-like that absolves you from being complicit in my people’s plight, assh*ole.
17. “If you are going to live in this country, learn to speak the language!”- outrageous even to think such a thing.
18. “She/he is a good person. She/he didn’t mean anything by it.”-
I bet they aren’t/did.
19. “When I’ve said the same thing to other people like you, they don’t mind.”- this is offensive. Even if we all are the same, there is no one like you!
20. Calling women “girls, honey, sweetie pie” or other familiar terms.-
I’ve been called honey, dear and sweetie by females many, many more times than I’ve ever called females by the same terms…and I love it!
21. When people of color say, “It is not the same thing.”-probably is.
22. When people of faith say, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”-
guess you either aren’t supposed to believe that sin exists or are supposed to love the sin, too.
23. When white men say, “We are the ones being discriminated against now!”-
I know exactly how you feel…some of my best friends are white, and the same thing has happened to me!
24. Referring to older people as “cute.”-what a heinous crime against humanity! Must make ‘em feel terrible!
25. Asking a transgender person, “What are you really? A man or a woman?”-I know, I know…whatever they identify as at that moment is what they are…at that moment. (I think “they” is the right pronoun!)
26. Referring to the significant other, partner, or spouse of a same gender couple as their “friend.”-
cowardice! The proper thing to do is emphasize the sexual ways they use their non-complimentary genitalia!
27. “Why do ‘they’ (fill in the blank) always have to sit together? They are always sticking together.”-
guess minorities can be non-inclusive, too.
28. “People just need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps.”-
isn’t it better if the government carries you to bed?
29. People with disabilities are “courageous.”-what sick bleep would let that comment escape his abled mouth?
30. “That’s so gay/queer. That’s so retarded.”-pretty sure this/these one(s) is/are long out of favor.
31. “I don’t see difference. We are all part of the same race, the human race.”-
well that’s just offensive on its face.
32. I don’t care if you are pink, purple or orange, I treat all people the same.”-but what if people are fuchsia, mauve and teal?
33. Asking a transgender person, “Have you had the operation.”-
much better to ask, “have you surgically swapped your genitalia lately, or are you just pretending to be the opposite sex?”
34. Saying to a Jewish person, “You are so lucky to have ‘your’ Christmas spread over a week!”-
bet it’s because you can make a few more sheckels; and, anyway, you can’t say “Christmas” on campus anymore, anyhow.
35. “Here’s another book on political correctness.”-here’s another book

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