The long-despised ban
on transgenders serving in the United States military has finally been lifted.
AP reports that U.S. military services will finalize and distribute training
guidelines, medical protocols and other guidance to help commanders deal with
any issues or questions about transgender troops. Those should be amusing
reads!
“Welcome
to the transmilitary! The new, improved, non-binary force welcomes you and
encourages you to explore, enlarge and
enhance your gender tendencies and preferences! Please know that
you are all free to use any bathroom or shower facility you like. You can
likewise pick the housing and uniforms- and even the fitness standards- that
match your preferred gender. Yay!
Won’t that be fun? I am Sergeant Pat Yangyin and I am non-binary,
cis-questioning. When we are on this base and/or actively training or engaged
with the enemy, you are to call me ‘Colonels,’ and nothing else…is that clear?
However, if we’re out at a gay bar or some such, my pronoun of choice is
‘they.’ As in, ‘Can I buy they a drink?’ Got it?”
Officials say that the recent
lifting of bans against openly homosexual people and the transgendered serving
in the armed forces is just the start. One official, speaking on condition of
anonymity, stated: “We think that gays and lesbians, men dressed as women and
women dressed as men, all sharing the same bunks and bathrooms and coming out
of the showers toweling off their hot, dripping wet, naked bodies will bring
more focus and cohesion to their units. Yet, we realize that to get the very
best out of our fighting people, much, much more has to be done.” Though that
official didn’t identify what other prohibitions needed to be addressed, many
have speculated that the bans against polyamory, necrophilia, incest and
bestiality may soon be lifted in an effort to make the nation safer.
Another
official, a colonel in the Pentagon, suggested that each branch of the military
will soon be more flexible in terms of where any given recruit or volunteer may
serve on any given day. “We are working toward the day when an individual in
one branch of the service who self-identifies as a member of a different branch
will be swiftly accommodated and moved to their preferred branch… at least until such time as he or she
re-identifies as a member of their old branch or identifies as a member of a
different branch,” he said. This official, too, cited increased
battle-readiness and unit cohesion as the impetus for these changes.
In the army but feel like an airman? No
problem! On a submarine but always identified as a cavalryperson? It’s all
good! In today’s armed forces you can now serve in whichever branch of the Service
you identify with, in whatever
uniform you choose!
The five recognized
service branches have all updated their mottos in keeping with the new spirit
of social engineering and tolerance.
The U.S. Coast Guard: “Omnes Superbi
et Gendered”
The U.S. Marine Corp: “Patiens
Semper”
The U.S. Air Force: “Self-identity
Before Service”
The U.S. Navy: “A Global Force For
Diversity”
The U.S. Army: “Love, Tolerance,
Diversity”
(There are 1.3 million active-duty
members in the American military. An estimated 2,450 are transgender).
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