Thursday, July 21, 2016

Hillary Clinton To Pick Vice-Presidential Running Mate

                 Speculation continues to abound as Hillary Clinton draws ever closer to choosing her vice-presidential candidate. The nation- and indeed the world- is on pins and needles as it breathlessly awaits her decision. Do not despair, we have only hours left to wait!
                While we are in limbo (and Bill is in bimbo!) as she exercises her formidable critical-thinking skills, I hereby offer my best guesses as to her soon-to-be running mate:
                Anthony Wiener would be a surprise pick, but the former congressman would appease the more depraved wing of the Democratic Party. Moreover, his wife is a long-time Hillary aide and was her Deputy Chief of Staff in the State Department. Though scandals sent his political star into a steep descent, some say it wouldn’t be hard to envision Wiener rising again. Bonus: he’s known to be good with modern technology.
                Barbara Streisand would likely appeal to Hollywood types and those who are on the extremely low end of the I.Q. scale. Also, she is a woman.
                Cecile Richards is a dark horse candidate, but she is also a Washington outsider, and some pundits believe this is just what Clinton needs to balance the ticket and take some thunder away from Donald Trump.  The president of Planned Parenthood since 2006, Richards would be immensely attractive to the party’s base, who believe abortion is a sacrament that is established and protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution. Also, she is a woman.
                Louis Farrakhan covers most of the party’s cherished bases. He is a Marxist-socialist. He hates America. He hates white people. He hates racism. He hates cops. He hates hate-speech. He spews impenetrable drivel like Mount Saint-Helens spews ash. He’s a person of color. Best of all, he is the leader of the Nation of Islam! A dream candidate for today’s Democrats!
                As formidable- and indeed mainstream- as Farrakhan’s views now are in the Democratic Party, he may be edged out by another purveyor of preposterous prattle. Who is that you ask? Who’s my pick for Hillary’s number two? (And she has a lot of experience with ‘number two’; in fact it often comes out of her mouth).
                Just picture the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia Pennsylvania- the birthplace of America- rocking with chants of BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE!

                Let freedom ring!      


  1. Spot-on as usual sir! Flipping hilarious! The only bummer as far as I'm concerned is that I neglected to wear a dad-pad before I visited your site!

  2. Hillary picking Tim Kaine is similar to Trump picking Mike Pence. Trump needed a mature conservative to balance the ticket. This won't work for Hillary because of the insane Democratic ethos now. She would have won the presidency if she had picked Bernie. Thanks for your comment!