Lance Crosby, a 63 year old hiker and (ironically) a
seasonal urgent care employee of Medcor, was killed in a suspected grizzly bear
attack in Yellowstone National Park late this past week. His body was found
partially consumed.
The
bear, if located, is not scheduled to
be put down. No world-wide outrage has been detected, nor has any social-media
firestorm broken out. The bear’s den has not
been vandalized as of this writing. No one has yet called Mr. Crosby “beloved,”
or “iconic.” It is not believed the bear had the proper license to take Mr.
Crosby, and, in fact, the bear has poached other animals in the recent past. No
entity is calling for the bear to be extradited. It is not known if the grizzly
attempted to lure Mr. Crosby out of the park.
According to authorities, bear
attacks in the park are extremely rare. Experts are blaming the attack on a
severe toothache that was afflicting the big bruin. One such expert lamented,
“Mr. Crosby didn’t need to die. All that bear needed was a good dentist.”
No comments:
Post a Comment