A new government-funded study
out of Britain, conducted by scientists at the U.K. Center for Ecology and
Hydrology, purports to show that human breathing
is contributing to greenhouse gas emissions. Therefore, the study authors are urging
"caution in the assumption that emissions from humans are
The peer-reviewed study, recently published in
the Public Library of Science's journal PLOS One (check out the monthly
centerfold!), investigated greenhouse gas emissions of methane and nitrous
oxide in human breath, alleging that they "contribute to global
Well, there it is! I knew it
was coming! Are you serious about stopping global warming? Well, then, just
stop breathing! What a boon to depopulationists! Turns out, “We are not
the ones we have been waiting for,” we are the problem!
Of course, some of us suck up
more air-- and are bigger blowhards-- than others. You know who you are. Al,
Gee, I wish we had a smarter
God, one that didn’t design humans (and most animals) to respirate! And then
have the nerve to say, “be fruitful and multiply.”
But maybe He actually said, “I’ve
made a handful of fruit flies” and it was just recorded incorrectly.
The implementation of
preposterously unreliable energy alternatives and unending statist
interventions aren’t enough. So, if you truly care about the planet, please go
ahead and make the ultimate sacrifice. Do it for the scientists who conducted
the study. Do it for Al, Greta, and John. Do it for Klaus Schwab and The World
Economic Forum (WEF). I’m sure they will thank you for it.
They might even breathe a
sigh of relief.