Tulane University was founded in 1834 and became a “comprehensive” university in 1847. It became private in 1884. But it wasn’t really a comprehensive university until this year—this past week actually-- when it hosted “sex week,” including a comprehensive gallery of people’s privates. The festive extravaganza was touted by organizers as a “diverse week of comprehensive, queer-inclusive, culturally-specific, sex-positive sexual health events and conversations.” Culturally specific? Is sex dramatically different among various peoples of the world? I mean, we all have basically the same parts, do we not? Is Black sex really that different than white sex? Is it that Black and white? Do we want it to be? Why do “progressives?”
Nonetheless, scheduled events included a session open only to Black students called “Let’s Talk About Black Sex, Baby!” According to Tulane’s website, the “Black Sex” event was held on Thursday, March 4, and featured a “safe space to talk about Black sexuality.” This seminar apparently featured a “panel of students and faculty discussing the unique experiences Black femme-identifying and nonbinary people face on campus.” Quite. And, of course, it also included the now obligatory sex toy giveaway.
Not every Sex Week event was racially segregated, however. The symposium also featured a “Genital Diversity Gallery,” which the school’s website proudly noted was “the first project to create anatomically exact tools, based on human molding techniques, and present the vast spectrum of genitalia (assigned-male, assigned-female, intersex, trans, and with voluntary or forced surgeries) to destigmatize genitals and celebrate the diversity of bodies that exist.” I confess I was ignorant of the fact that genitals are considered “stigmatized” in 2021. I am keenly aware, however, that we are supposed to “celebrate the diversity of bodies that exist.”
Yet another event that was held during this academically intense week was the talk on “Embodied Sexuality,” the goal of which was to “really embody your sexuality, radically and authentically.” Radically and authentically? And in a safe, socially distanced, Dr. Fauci-approved manner, I should hope.
But wait, there was more! Since everyone loves a happy ending, the workshop also included a “guided sexual embodiment practice” session, which featured a “releasing ritual.” Film at 11. Just kidding. Or at least I hope so.
Discovering new forms of genitalia is not exactly like discovering a new planet, galaxy, cure for cancer, or even a new way to fillet fish. Columbus discovered America and he’s been canceled by colleges, but college kids today are expected to be proud of learning about—and adding to-- “the vast spectrum” of known genitalia?
“Beam me up, Scotty, there’s no intelligent life here.” Especially on college campuses.