“Monopoly” is arguably the most
iconic board game of all time. One of the key features of the game is the
“Community Chest,” from which players draw cards resulting in financial rewards
or penalties, or cards directing them to go to jail or freeing them from same.
As you may have heard, Hasbro, the
company that makes the classic parlor game, has decided that the cards no
longer fit today’s cultural climate or priorities. Ergo, it will be introducing
updated cards in the near future-- and has launched a new website to allow
people to vote on how best to "update the Community Chest cards to
include feel-good moments that reflect the best things about being part of a
community."
A recent post on the site asserted,
"Goodbye Second Place in A Beauty Contest, Hello Shopping Local! Monopoly
Is (Finally) Updating the Community Chest Cards – and You Get to Decide
How."
Eric Nyman, Hasbro’s Chief
Consumer Officer, issued a news release saying, "The world has changed a lot
since Monopoly became a household name more than 85 years ago, and clearly
today community is more important than ever. We felt like 2021 was the perfect
time to give fans the opportunity to show the world what community means to
them through voting on new Community Chest Cards. We're really excited to see
what new cards get voted in!"
The 16 cards referencing such
archaic matters as "school tax,” "bank errors," or "beauty
contests” have been canceled. As has the card stating, “Go directly to jail.”
Of course.
The new cards sport messages
about the importance of being a "woke" and enlightened member of one’s community. The
cards will lecture players on the necessity of such things as volunteering, being
a good neighbor, giving blood, rescuing animals, shopping local, recycling,
etc., etc.
Visitors to
MonopolyCommunityChest.com can cast up to 16 votes, choosing from a brace
of woke messages vying for the honor of replacing the stuffy old traditional
stack of Community Chest cards.
Here are some of the 32
voting options currently listed on the Hasbro site:
*“You volunteer your art
skills and paint a mural at the local school” COLLECT $50”
vs.
“You organize a group to
clean up your town’s walking path. COLLECT $50.”
*"You organize a bake sale for your
local school. COLLECT $25"
vs.
"You weed the community garden and discover a new bug! Name it something
fun! THEN COLLECT $25"
*”You go to the local school’s car wash
fundraiser—but you forget to close your windows! PAY $100.”
vs.
“You held a neighborhood party—but you
didn’t recycle your trash! PAY $100.”
*”You didn’t shop local! PAY $50.”
vs.
“You buy a few bags of cookies from that
school bake sale. Yum! PAY $50.”
Other
card options include, “You rescue a puppy—and you feel rescued, too! GET OUT OF
JAIL FREE” and “You pass out umbrellas to people standing at a bus stop on a
rainy Monday morning. COLLECT $10 FROM EACH PLAYER.” (How could I rescue a
puppy if I was in jail? And how come I’m getting paid for supposedly charitable
actions?)
I’d
like to submit my own card options. Such as:
*”You convince your local day care center
to have a ‘Drag Queen Story Hour’ every Wednesday! Yay! COLLECT $100.”
*”You firebomb a local Republican Party
headquarters! COLLECT $200.”
*”You accidentally use the wrong pronoun
when addressing your ‘sister.’ PAY $100.”
*”You unthinkingly wear a red baseball
cap while mowing the lawn with your electric mower. The neighbors think it’s a
‘MAGA’ hat! Yikes! PAY $200.”
Socially conscious bored board
games are a sign of the times. Hasbro previously introduced “Ms. Monopoly.” I’m sure
there will be a wave of updated and revised games in the days and months to
come. Games such as “No
Risk,” “Tattleship,” “NAZI Yahtzee,” and “So
Sorry.”
However, if we really wanted to play
games befitting most of the members of today’s Democratic Party, they would be
named “Randyland,” “Clue- Less,” and “Fictionary.”
And we all know a few of them that should
“go directly to jail.”
No comments:
Post a Comment