Coronavirus Can Enter Body Through Eyes, Study Shows

                A new study purports to show that the coronavirus can—and does-- enter the human body through the eyes. A team of researchers from the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine discovered that ACE-2, a protein created by the eyes, acts as a “gateway” to internal cells, making them a target for the virus.

                This means that gloves and facemasks are not enough. Look for government officials at every level to immediately order their subjects (i.e. you and I) to start wearing eye masks and blindfolds to protect themselves. The blindfolds will not only help prevent us from contracting the coronavirus, they will further lessen any residual human to human contact and prevent us from risking any ambulatory motion. To our rulers they will have the additional benefit of prohibiting us from seeing what they are doing, although, judging by current events, they need no further obfuscation.

                I would no longer be surprised if a Democratic governor somewhere in the fruited plain mandates the wearing of pink barbeque mitts and purple skorts at all times, subject to fines and imprisonment. Just because he or she thinks he or she can. Nor would I be surprised if the vast majority of us robotically replied, “Yes sir/ma’am, pink barbeque mitts and purple skorts, we’ll do it. Should we report others not in compliance?”

                “My, what big eyes you have, Big Brother!”

                “The better to see you with, my dear.”

                “What big ears you have!”

                “The better to hear you with.”

                “What big arms you have!”

                “The better to reach and shelter you with.”

                “And what a big dick you have!”

                “The better to bugger you with, ha, ha, ha! Trust me, you’ll like it. It’s for your own good.”