Saturday, September 14, 2019

"Worm Loves Worm"

            “Worm Loves Worm” is the title of an apparently much-beloved children’s book touting the joys of gay marriage and the ethos of “love is love.” Published in 2016 by Ballsy & Gay Balzer + Bray, says of the subtly doctrinaire publication, “this irresistible picture book is a celebration of love in all its splendid forms.” All its splendid forms? Despite its intention, this is not the case. Love and marriage based on natural complementarity is noticeably not celebrated.
The glowing characterization continues: “You are cordially invited to celebrate the wedding of a worm . . . and a worm. When a worm meets a special worm and they fall in love, you know what happens next…” Let me guess! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge! Just kidding. Get your mind out of the gutter. The review adds: “They get married! But their friends want to know—who will wear the dress? And who will wear the tux? The answer is: It doesn't matter. Because Worm loves Worm.”
Got it? Same sex marriage, transgendered marriage, inter-species marriage…it’s all okay! All the same! Because-- you know-- say it with me now: “LOVE IS LOVE!” Yay!
Reviews of the book, recommended for kids ages 4-8, were almost universally effusive in their praise. One read: “As fathers of a 2-year-old child, my husband and I enthusiastically purchased Worm to Worm and are very happy we did so. It's not easy finding stories that aren't geared toward a mom and a dad - and while we have plenty of those, it's nice to have another book that's a little more reflective of our family.” They noted, of course, that the book “is not political.” Sorry lads, but neither of you are “fathers” of the two-year-old child. Adopted parents, maybe…fathers no. And isn’t it interesting that the two faux dads got the title of the book wrong, stating that they “purchased Worm to Worm?”
“Worm Loves Worm” is a 32-page book directed at young kids. I have taken the liberty of writing a sequel. I hope the author doesn’t mind. Mine is titled “Anything Goes” and is only 1-page in length. Here it is, in its entirety, a special sneak preview for my readers:
“Worm loves worm. Clam loves clam. Soon there are no more humans. The End.”

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