CNN To Air LGBTQ Town Hall

                If you are among the small group of people who enjoyed CNN’s recent seven-hour televised Town Hall marathon on climate change, in which leading Democratic presidential candidates trotted out ever more preposterous plans to combat climate change, you are in for another treat come October 10^th. The Human Rights Campaign (HRC, but not to be confused with Hillary Rodham Clinton) foundation recently announced that it, too, will host a CNN Democratic presidential town hall. This one will be held in Los Angeles and will focus on issues surrounding the LGBTQ community. The festive extravaganza, taking place on the eve of (the annual) National Coming Out Day, will feature “the largest-ever audience for a Democratic presidential town hall devoted to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) issues” according to HRC.

                The candidates will field questions regarding how best to promote LGBTQ equality from both CNN “journalists” and the live audience. HRC has announced that Joe Biden, Mayor Pete Buttigieg, Julián Castro, Sen. Kamala Harris, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, and Sen. Elizabeth Warren have already committed to participate. Sounds like Must See TV to me! Fortunately, you won’t have to wait until October 10^th to watch—and listen—to this sure-to-be riveting discussion of all things queer. Through remarkable new technology, called futureport and debuting here, we can listen in to the program even though it will not take place for several weeks! Enjoy!

                                                  [futureport activated}

Question: “Senator Warren, as a woman of color, but a heterosexual, what will you do to aid the plight of the LGBTQIIA+ community?”

Sen. Warren: “This may come as a surprise to you, and possibly my husband Bruce, but I am one-eighth lesbian. Therefore, I will fight for the right of those in the LGBTQ community to use whatever bathrooms they want and do whatever they want, as long as they don’t produce nuclear energy or eat cheeseburgers.” (Applause).

Question: “Mayor Buttigieg, given your last name and the fact that you yourself are gay, do you believe you have the strongest credentials to lead the fight against homophobia and bigotry, especially now that it has been taken to a new level by the Hitler—I mean Trump administration?”

Mayor Buttigieg: “I certainly do. I won’t name names, but there are some who share the floor with me tonight who are actually pro-heterosexual (loud booing) but haven’t yet come out of the closet…so-to-speak. They should be mindful that God will get them for their intolerance. Just sayin’.”

Question: “Former Vice-President Biden, some have tried to smear you as the “moderate” candidate. How do you answer that charge…and what will you do to promote the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender lifestyle?”

Biden: “I resent the ‘moderate’ slander. I took part in the Stonewall Riots in Greenland Village in 1699 for God’s sake. I was injured when now-President Trump cold-cocked me—I didn’t mean it like that, but I wouldn’t care if I did—that’s how committed to the queer cause I’ve always been and always will be. I was a friend of the queers before queer was cool!”

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