September 20, 2019
(Washington, D.C.)— Just over 48-hours ago President trump announced he had fired National Security Adviser John Bolton. Shortly thereafter, he said he would replace Bolton with Robert C. O’Brien, a lawyer who is a partner in a Los Angeles-based boutique law firm.
Then, earlier this morning-- in a stunning turn of events that had this town buzzing-- Trump announced that he had created a new cabinet position and was hiring Marianne Williamson to be his “Secretary of Peace.” Williamson said she happily gave up on her quest to be the 2020 Democratic presidential nominee to accept the new post, noting she was “ready and willing to start hoping, dreaming and willing the world to be a better place.”
Some pundits asserted that trump only made the hire to prevent Williamson from possibly becoming his opponent in the 2020 general election, prompting Trump to tweet: “I hired Ms. Williamson because of what she can do for our great country. The idea that I did it so we don’t face each other down the line is FAKE NEWS! She didn’t have a prayer anyway, with Pocahontas and that broad from Minnesota…crow-boo-char…or whatever, sucking up the women’s vote now!” He added via a later tweet, “Marianne Williamson will go down in history as the greatest Secretary of Peace this nation has ever had, this I can promise you. Not even close! Not close! Greatest of all time! So there!”
Williamson said she plans to bring her Joan Baez and Joni Mitchell record collection with her to Washington, saying “It would be so cool, such good karma, if the president and the other cabinet members would listen to them with me in the White House.” She added, “I’ve heard Kim Jong-un likes some folk music. Not sure about Vladimir Putin or Xi Jinping. Iran’s Mullahs probably not so much. But there’s always hope.”