Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Students Schooled On Socialism

                Campus Reform, a website dedicated to college idiocy, went to Florida International University to find out if students with higher GPAs would be okay if they were forced to “spread the wealth” and give some of their GPA points to students with lower GPAs. As the site’s report read, “despite the overwhelming number of students who initially said they’d support socialist policies, few agreed to go along with such a plan.”
                One student said, “I’m all for helping, but I wouldn’t give some of my points…I’ve lost a lot of sleep so I don’t know if that would be fair.” It wouldn’t be fair to that student to have to share? What about the students in need of a better GPA? Is that attitude fair to them? Another student remarked, “I like, study all day for my grades.” And the people who pay taxes, like, work all day for their money, moron.
                Let’s make everything socialist and see how society functions. Or doesn’t. Oh wait, I guess we can see that now in Venezuela. And throughout all of recorded history. But maybe all of recorded history is just a fluke. Surely AOC and company know how to make Marxism magic, make socialism soar! I’m betting the 183rd time is the charm.
                So, let’s Make Socialism Fun Again! Let’s flood the country with MSFA hats! We can use the red stock left over from unmade MAGA hats (due to decreased demand from those who are afraid to wear them in public, lest they be beaten to a bloody, red pulp). No waste!
   How about socialist Bingo? Wouldn’t it be awesome to see someone who is close to winning themselves give a B-4 or an O-69 to someone else in need? Isn’t it time for a really hot guy or gal to hand off one of their dates to a plain Jane or a nerdy Ned? Could there be a better feeling than when your favorite football team is driving down the field for a go-ahead touchdown, and it deliberately turns the ball over to the other squad to spare its players from feeling unworthy?
               In reality, socialism and its close cousins Marxism-Leninism and Communism, are the biggest disincentives to work, wealth, innovation and excellence in human history. Therefore, as Margaret Thatcher said, “Eventually you run out of other people’s money.”
               But, what the hell, the next time you roll a 7 or 11 at the craps table in Vegas, look around for the biggest loser you can find and turn your winnings over to him or her.
               If the likes of Alexandria Occasional-Cortex have their way, it won’t be long until we all crap out, anyway.

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