Colorado Lawmakers Kinda Think There Was Another Drug They Wanted To Legalize, But Can't Remember What It Was Now

Colorado Lawmakers Kinda Think There Was Another Drug They Wanted To Legalize, But Can’t Remember What It Was Now

                Legislators in Colorado legalized recreational marijuana use in 2014, and, more recently, did the same with “magic mushrooms.” Now they say they have been thinking about legalizing another hallucinogenic drug for some time but can’t remember which one it might have been. A couple of the state’s Democratic Representatives suggested the substance in question may be crack cocaine, while a Republican Representative told me, on the condition of anonymity, that he is of the opinion that it could have been heroine, or maybe ecstasy. But another Republican Representative disagreed with his fellow party member, saying that he was “probably 60 percent certain” the drug they’d strongly considered legalizing was LSD. Yet this didn’t jibe with what the Centennial State’s two senators thought, one of whom expressed a favorable opinion about legalizing amphetamines, while the other is stoutly pro-hashish.

                A special legislative session was held recently, in an effort to find some common ground. Fritos, Cheetos, peanuts, Pringles, Lunchables, Twinkies and other munchies were provided (at tax-payer expense) to the governing body to satisfy their munchies and grease the skids for a potentially historic bill to be put forward. Sadly, that never happened. An argument broke out over which snack was the best, with Democrats demanding that Lunchables be proclaimed the most inclusive and fulfilling snack, and Republicans arguing that the traditional peanut clearly has more merit.

                Suffice it to say, members of each party have since been clashing over just which narcotic to legalize next. A potential agreement now seems a long way off, tragically putting the hopes of countless junkies and weekend partiers alike in jeopardy.

   All the state’s lawmakers did agree, however, that the legal age to purchase cigarettes should be raised to 27, if the manufacture and sale of the despicable tobacco product cannot be banned altogether.