"Special Person's Day"

                It’s getting dumber “down under.” Some in Australia’s loony left want to re-brand Father’s Day as “Special Person’s Day.” One of the daffiest “progressive” Aussies is Dr. Red Ruby Scarlet, a leader of the Social Justice in Early Childhood activist group. (Incredibly, that is her real name…and that is a real group). Dr. Scarlet (in the study with the lead pipe?) recently told a local media outlet that the change from the archaic “Father’s Day” to “Special Person’s Day” should be made so as not to make kids without fathers feel bad. She added that “shifting the language” to make labels more “inclusive” to children from “special communities” would be a win-win for everyone involved, traditional and non-traditional families alike.

                As you might have guessed, several Australian schools have already complied with Dr. Scarlet’s wishes and have replaced references to Father’s Day with the more modern Special Person’s Day. One school, Moonee Ponds West Primary, even proactively dispensed with references to Mother’s Day and Father’s Day in favor of acknowledging and celebrating the U.N. International Day of Families. Its principal remarked, “I believe celebrating International Day of Families is a more inclusive way of celebrating the richness, diversity and complexity of living and loving as a family in the modern world.” I don’t know if that statement scares you as much as it scares me, but there can be entirely too much “richness” and “complexity” when it comes to loving.

                Those who want to get rid of Father’s Day (and/or Mother’s Day) in favor of “Special Person’s Day” or the U.N.’s “International Day of Families” should immediately be frog-marched into The Outback and made to stay there until they return to their senses. Interesting, isn’t it, that progressives love identity politics when it comes to lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders, for example, but hate the idea of mother’s and fathers getting their day in the sun? (Happy PRIDE! month, by-the-way). And a U.N. “International Day of (anything)” should scare the crap out of any sentient, freedom-loving being. (Happy U.N. Peacekeepers “International Day of Childhood Sexual Abuse!”).

                If Father’s Day and Mother’s Day are to be replaced by Special Person’s Day, then Grandparent’s Day must go, too. We don’t want to make those without a grandparent feel bad, do we? All such currently recognized days should be eliminated by federal decree and replaced with Special Person’s Day. But that doesn’t go far enough. Congress should declare every day Special Person’s Day! How inclusive and loving would that be? Yay!!

   Moreover, Labor Day and Memorial Day have to be dispensed with, as well. What if someone doesn’t have a job or anyone to memorialize? How do you think they feel on these so-called “holidays?” And President’s Day must be abolished at once. What of those who prefer monarchies or banana republic style dictatorships? Surely President’s Day is offensive to them. Remember, it is incumbent upon us to be inclusive in all things.

   April Fool’s Day can stay, however. After all, each of us knows plenty of fools, do we not? Maybe we could make it more inclusive by renaming it Special Fool’s Day and celebrating—or at least acknowledging—it every day of the year. That would be progressive. Right, Ruby Red Scarlet?