As I write this, the U.S. government is supposedly “shut
down.” This is fake news, as all essential government entities are 100% up and
running, and everybody is getting paid. If this qualifies as a government
shutdown, it would be better for the average American taxpayer if the
government was permanently shut down.
The bewildering array of extraneous things on which the government spends a
staggering amount of money is largely kept from Joe Citizen’s view. Each year
at this time, however, Senator Rand Paul issues a “Festivus Waste Report,”
cataloging some of the most preposterous examples of taxpayer abuse. Here are a
few of the low-lights from the 2018
report. (Keep in mind as you read this that the U.S. is currently
over $21 trillion in debt).
·
Since 2009, the State Department has allocated
over $76 million to provide stipends to the nearly non-existent Somali army.
(It should be directing that money to our own nearly non-existent army).
·
The Department of Agriculture spent over $13
million to promote farmers’ markets. (Farmers are paid not to grow things, and are subsidized in various ways, including
via the inane ethanol mandate. There are already Farmer’s markets at nearly
every street corner, gas station and strip mall parking lot).
·
More than $250,000 was spent by the U.S. embassy
in Rwanda to teach Rwandans how to lobby. (I don’t know how effective this
could be. Perhaps they could lobby for more food or a better government, but
they probably just lobby for more U.S. aid).
·
$75,691 was spent on the vital task of directing
high-speed volumes of air (generated by leaf blowers) at lizards. (How much was
spent to determine if the lizards enjoyed the blow-jobs?).
·
A mere $361,891 was spent on a study of horse
and donkey hunting on the ancient Anatolian Peninsula. (Why? They’re not still
hunting them, are they? And where the hell is/was
the Anatolian Peninsula?).
·
Fully $18 million was spent in support of
Egyptian tourism. (They have the bleeping pyramids…they
don’t need the help. And the Nile. Maybe
spend it on Baltimore, instead?).
·
The ever daft State Department shelled out
$50,000 to pay for museum trips in Bosnia & Herzegovina…for Bosnians &
Herzegovinians. (I’m pretty sure no other country is paying for Americans to go
to the Smithsonian or the Baseball Hall of Fame).
·
The National Endowment for the Arts coughed up
15 Grand to find ways of using the theater to combat homelessness and poverty.
(“Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Are you homeless and
poverty-stricken again? You can come live with us Capulets! Better still, you
could become an actor! Wouldn’t that
be grand, my Romeo?!”).
·
The State Department forked over $200,000 to put
on plays in Afghanistan. (See above. I’m sure the warlords were delighted).
·
The State Department (again) spent over $653,000
to develop a Pashto-language television drama series for Afghans. (See above.
Don’t Afghans have enough drama in their day-to-day lives?).
·
The State Department spent $35,000 to encourage
people in the Republic of Congo to use local resources. (Think about it).
·
The State Department also laid out $200,000 to
bring British student social justice activists to the United States. (We have
too damn many of them here already. We should be a net exporter of social justice warriors. We should be placing tariffs
on their import, not paying for them to come here).
·
The National Institute of Health (NIH) spent
nearly $2.5 million to study daydreaming. (Too bad we didn’t just dream this. What a nightmare).
·
The NIH spent an incredible $800,000 to study
the sex lives of quails high on cocaine. (This raises the question: WTF??!!
What’s next, studying the mating habits of herons on heroine? The hook-up
tactics of drunken water buffalo?).
And on and on…..and on and on and
on it goes, for thousands of line items, costing the average taxpayer thousands
of dollars.
The
government spends money like a drunken sailor on shore leave. And it’s about to
get worse, possibly much worse, when
the Democrats take control of the House of Representatives.
Look
for the 2019 report to show that the State Department spent $50 million to import British social
justice activists to lobby for the provision of free cocaine to horny quails
who are watched by daydreaming lizards being assaulted by gusts from leaf
blowers in a study to determine the study’s effects on Egyptian tourism and
Rwandan lobbying efforts.
No comments:
Post a Comment