Baby, We’re Cold Inside.
Radio stations around the United
States have been grappling with the decision of whether or not to continue
airing the iconic 1940's Christmas song, “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” after at
least one listener objected to the
song’s lyrics, leading WDOK in Cleveland to remove the tune from its play list.
Following WDOK’s singular capitulation, San Francisco’s KOIT shit-canned the
song as well, though it has since placed it back on its playlist, due to
listener demand.
Stations across the fruited plain
are conducting
polls of their listeners to determine if they should keep the song
on their play lists. The tune, written in 1944 by Frank Loesser, has infuriated
some in the #MeToo covenant. Why? Because a female sings lines such as “I
really can’t stay,” to which a man responds: “But baby, it’s cold outside,”
inferring that either he is trying to protect her from frostbite or that he’d
like to have her spend the night with him. Grim, scandalizing, shocking stuff, right?
Especially as compared to our modern sensibilities as encapsulated in rap music
lyrics. Many of the men of rap spout lyrics that would curl Frank Loesser’s
hair and cause him to recite “Mother Mary” 100 times in quick succession, but
many of them are living legends making obscene amounts of money.
Even the universally beloved Beyoncé, a female no less,
has written and performed songs with lyrics like this:
“Keep me coming, keep me going, keep me
coming, keep me going
Keep me humming, keep me moaning, keep me humming, keep me
moaning
Don’t stop loving ‘til the morning, don’t stop loving ‘til the
morning
Don’t stop screaming, freaking, blowing
Can you eat my skittles
Pink
is the flavor
Solve the riddle”
Think I did! Bravo. Just so!
Yet, “I
really can’t stay,” followed by “But baby, it’s cold outside” is considered
“inappropriate” in these mixed-up times?!
And, for
Heaven’s sakes, don’t say (or listen to) ‘I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.’” You might be added to
the government’s growing list of dangerous white supremacists. “I Saw Mommy
Kissing Santa Claus” is also problematic at best, as it’s considered
insufficiently inclusive. Why shouldn’t daddy—or
any other entity or group—be celebrated for pouring some sugar on the plump,
bearded, bespectacled bringer of joy? Wouldn’t that make Jolly Olde Saint Nick
even jollier? “Ho, ho, ho (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)…Rudolph? Rudolph!”
Alas, crassness
and insanity are no longer surprising.
A Washington Post columnist
recently listed her top 100 Christmas songs. She ranked “I Farted on Santa’s
Lap (Now Christmas Is Gonna Stink For Me)” ahead of “Little Drummer Boy,” “Do
You Hear What I hear,” “Silver Bells,” and “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.”
Said
The Swamp to the people everywhere,
Listen
to what we say
Pray
for P.C., people everywhere!
Listen
to what we say
‘Til Trump, ‘til Trump, lies
bleeding in the night
And we can show you tolerance and light
And we can show you tolerance and light
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