Dick’s Sporting Goods CEO Edward Stack says the company is
considering removing
all hunting gear from its 732 stores. The retailer already pulled
all hunting equipment from 10 of its underperforming stores this past August,
replacing it with an assortment of items pertaining to other sports. Stack said
the company will “wait and see how the 10-store test does” before making a
final decision. The company previously stopped selling certain types of
firearms and magazines after the Parkland, Florida shooting.
Why
stop there, though, Ed? If you’re making business decisions based on bad things
happening to people who use or are affected by certain types of products you
sell, don’t pick and choose. Let’s dispense with the hypocrisy.
If the
chain truly cared about people’s well-being, it would stop selling all football
equipment immediately. Or has no one in the company heard about chronic
traumatic encephalopathy? Instead of adding
to its assortment of soccer equipment, it should cease and desist all sales of
soccer and soccer-related products tomorrow. Soccer is a very close second to
football in the number of concussions its participants suffer. Moreover, there
has been a stunning 58% increase in cases of pediatric concussions in the past
decade. And female soccer players are experiencing nearly twice as many
concussions as their male counterparts, according to a recent study by the
American Journal of Sports Medicine. Concussions can lead to brain damage and a
life not nearly as fulfilling as it otherwise would have been.
Apparently,
Dicks hates young girls.
On top
of even this, soccer is responsible for a staggering number of serious knee
injuries.
Hockey
items should be swept off the floors, pegs and shelves of Dicks Sporting Goods
outlets with all due haste. Not only is the sport dangerous, but the equipment
is so expensive that it is an affront to all but life’s lottery winners…i.e. suburban
white people.
And
what about baseball bats? Are they not deadly? Is Mr. Stack not aware that
there have been many more bench-clearing brawls and melees in major league
baseball the past 15 years than in the National Hockey League? Is this the
behavior he is trying to encourage?
The
company even sells boxing equipment!
Could they not find any jousting gear?
Maybe a nice selection of daggers? Dicks’ virtue-signaling is not appealing to
anyone with a properly functioning brain. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why
it is reveling in the orgy of concussions, pain and suffering it is aiding and
abetting.
Take my
advice, Ed: if you don’t want to potentially offend or hurt anybody: 1) go big
with LGBTQ gear and apparel, 2) just sell Chia Pets, cummerbunds and cheese
straighteners…and/or 3) re-brand as “Dick-less Sporting Goods” and sell a wide
variety of “pussy hats.”
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