"Freshmores," Not Freshmen

            Dr. Jefford Vahlbusch, dean of the Honors College at Appalachian State University, doesn’t call first year students freshman. He calls them “freshmores.”

Vahlbusch told The Appalachian that he started using “freshmore” as a “non-sexist way to talk about freshman.” He added that he “got tired of listening to female students say freshman,” noting that it “just didn’t seem to be right that we didn’t have a non-gender specific way of talking about college students.” He says the term has now caught on around campus.

So, the good doctor decided that females shouldn’t use the term freshman? Wow. What other words should females avoid using, Dr.? Are you okay with them saying “manage” or “manifest?” “Manitoba?” How about “maniac?” Hmm?

What about the other three classes on campus? They are all offensively named, as well. “Senior” sounds like an elderly person who probably has dentures and wears adult diapers. “Junior,” on the other hand, is towards the opposite extreme. It sounds demeaning and dismissive, as in “get junior out of here before he breaks something or wets himself.” And sophomore? Its derivative is specifically used as a degrading term: “what disgusting, sophomoric behavior!”

What’s next? Will we have to dispense with or replace the words “mantle” and “manuscript?” There won’t be any “mandatory” assignments on campus soon. They will be termed “moredatory,” if there are any at all. Mannequins will become morenequins.

How many more— oh, oh. I mean how morey more… words will have to be inanely modified in the name of inclusivity or sacrificed altogether at the altar of “tolerance?” Will “emancipate” and “performance” be made to go the way of the Dodo? Will we allow “romance” to be taken out of the language? The more the left can obscure and diminish language, the more it can limit—and control-- thought.

This is all so dehumanizing-- excuse me, I mean dehumoreizing.

(In a related story, Minnesota State University, Mankato, has announced that it will re-brand itself as “Minnesota State University, Morekato” on January 1, 2019, whether or not it can get the city of Mankato to officially change its name).