There’s been a tremendous amount of airline news lately,
much of it involving animals. A couple
weeks ago, United Airlines denied a customer’s “emotional support peacock”
access to her flight, an act so heinous it quickly went viral. Shortly
thereafter, Spirit Airlines callously refused to allow another woman’s
emotional support dwarf hamster to board her
flight. Formerly content to rely on “service dogs,” if absolutely necessary,
Americans have now managed to connive doctors into certifying all manner of
creatures as “emotional support” animals, including squirrels and snakes. And
peacocks and dwarf hamsters, apparently.
The
airlines have become increasingly alarmed at the growing menagerie invading
airports across the country. Many passengers are also upset with the trend, and
believe their fellow flyers are taking gross advantage of a federal law
designed to help those truly in need of aid and succor, in an attempt to get
their own garden-variety (literally true in some instances) pet on board. In
just one year, from 2016 to 2017, for example, American Airlines recorded a 40 percent increase in customers who
flew with a service or support animal. In light of this, some airlines are
starting to tighten restrictions on these critters, citing clear issues of
safety and health.
I
wanted to see how accommodating my
favorite airline would be, so I headed off to the airport, emotional support
warthog at my side.
An airline official said he
wouldn’t let him on the plane! Can you believe it? What a bore! He must be a
piggot!
And
they call it “the friendly skies.” United we stand?
I think
not.
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